I live with chronic pain but my wife has no idea because I don’t want her to think I’m weak.

You surprised me tonight with your phone call.We go way back and had tons of fun together.You were spontaneous, while my boyfriend is boring. I miss you.

Yesterday, the man I was in love with took my debit card and my roommate's car and disappeared. He got me for $400. He got her for her car. I'm humiliated.

I told you that I was cool with just being friends, but you have no idea how much I regret telling you this. I want you so much now, but you ignore the signs.

While in a Barnes & Noble, I spit my gum into the middle of Ann Coulter's new book. I then put it back on the shelf.

I guess you could say I hate the b****.