Even though women seem interested in me all the time, I can't forget my wife, who left me two years ago. I haven't dated since. All my money means nothing.

I like my dog better than my wife. I secretly hope that it kills the cats and she has a nervous breakdown and leaves me and the dog alone.

I am such a fake, Job, Father, Husband.

I fear each day that I will be found out.

I love to let my small dog lick my pussy, it feels SO good.

My wife thinks I quit smoking two years ago but I still smoke at work everyday. I brush my teeth and gargle Listerine before I go home. Weekends are murder.