I voted for the Iraq war but can't admit I want to take it back.

My wife doesn’t know but I smoke weed almost everyday. One time it stunk so bad my wife thought there was a dead mouse in the house.

I told my wife I got fired. I couldn't tell her I make 4 times more than her now. She might cut my throat... or hers!

My parents grounded me. So, a couple days later my friends and I egged my own house. To this day my parents still think the neighbors kids did it..

I'm the network administrator at work and for the past year or so I've been reading all my coworker's very personal emails for fun. A few weeks ago my company hired a new manager and I can't stop thinking about her. I'm totally in love with her but I'm afraid to ask her out. Not to mention shes my boss. So, last week I started sending her flowers and reading her emails to figure out if she might think they are from me and if I might have a chance. She didn't say anything in emails last week, so I'm trying again.