Get screened for HPV now. It passes from mother to child. Good luck.
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Seems both genders cheat...it is not specific to either one and it will wear you down. My wife cheated on me, caught her twice and tried to move ahead. The mistrust and not being able to forget eats like a cancer inside. My marriage eventually collapsed...not advice...just fact.
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Not just HPV. Get tested for other things too. I feel very bad for you. Men can be so horrible sometimes. You should leave him after you have the baby.
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Get tested, Leave his ass, Alimony and Child Support.. Phuckin Cheaters...
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And your still with him?????????????
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^yes, I have been with him for 10 years, and this is our 3rd baby. He recently confessed his secret to me about 8 months ago. He has shown effort that he wants to change and that he will never do that again. I know it's hard for some people to believe that I could forgive him but I am and I am working on it, It's not completly gone yet but I know it will be. I Love him. For better or worse til death. The reason I posted this here is because nobody knows that he has done this to me, they just see us as a young growing family, with not a lot of issues. Just goes to show you it's not always what it seems.
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only people with low self esteem stay with cheaters.. learn to love yourself. Once a cheater always a cheater.
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^ I think people can change. If THEY want to. That's like saying once an over eater always an over eater, or once a liar always a liar...not really. If someone waants something bad enough they can change it.
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who are you trying to convince that he will no longer stray, us or yourself????? Be true to yourself and don't let him hurt you again but also don't live your life engulfed with pain and betrayal. Your children are what matters most and even if you put on a happy face they can sense that something is off and they are affected. Just think about it this way would you want your daughter to stay with someone who did this to her??? Would you want your son to do that to his wife??? If the answer is no then you have to be strong for your kids and practice what you preach.
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You are going to stick with him no matter what. He will cheat again. His fault is telling you.
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2^ yes. Once a cheater , cheats, they have disregarded every vow and promise they ever made to their family. They became selfish and self centered. Does a cheater even think what would happen if they were caught? Would they even care? Adults know the consequences, if they still choose to cheat, male or female, they deserve what they get.
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That's just it, some people can change but only if they want to. And he sounds like he wants to. give him another chance.
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Imagine all the half-brothers and sisters that may be out there.
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At least he had a good time, I wouldn't turn him off to bad, what if he started doing Guys?
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I am a cheater and I can personally tell you as hard as I might try and as great as my intentions are once a cheater always a cheater. Eventually your conscious is no longer a factor and cheating becomes easier and easier. Just like an alcoholic is always an alcoholic there are ways to stay away from booze but there is no way to stay away from the opposite sex. I too can be in recovery like an alcoholic but relapsing happens to cheaters as well so just be prepared. It dosen't mean he dosen't love you though he is most likely addicted to the rush of something/someone new. To keep him happy open your sexual horizons and ask him his fantasies help him stay interested and give him new unexpected experiences with you. I know it is hard to do when you have a family but at least 2x a month do little things like wearing a dress and mentioning to him that you "forgot" to wear panties, if you are normally submissive be dominating or vice versa. After the kids go to bed call him into your bed room and be dressed in a role play outfit (school girl, maid, cop, teacher etc..) and stay in character using accents and such. Or my fav. have a date night like in the first part of the movie 4 christmases invent dif identities and meet at a bar and "hook up" but it is very important that you STAY IN CHARACTER untill sex is over. it will be akward the first few times but he will enjoy it and it will be like being with someone else without actually doing it.
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^ I am sure that would work. It's just really really hard to do. Also you are right once a cheater you will always have the urge to do it. just like an alcoholic or over eater or drug addict, you don't even have to be around the alcohol to want some, the difference between him and you are that he has had the veil lifted and can now see what is important, Some people it takes longer than others and he has reached his point. Will the urge and thoughts still be there yes but he knows the choice is his and he can now handle it within his own mind. Most people with addiction problems cannot manage it which is why they continue to give into the urge because it is too powerful, but some people change and relize what is important and then turn their lives around. it is possible. It just hapens at different time for different people, some people decide to lose weight at 50 because that was when they were able to over come the urge, my husband is over coming the urge, and he has changed because his actions show me this not just his words. Actions speak louder. Also for a relationship to work you the "victim" will have to also make a choice to let it go, as hard as it is. It has to be a compromise that your husband or wife know that it may take a long time but you have also do it not just say I forgive you but do it and Live it. Your lives will change if you make the choice and live by it. Talk is cheap.
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Get tested tomorrow! Leave him regardless of the results. He has no respect for you or his children. If you stay with him, you have zero self respect. You may think people think you are a happy family, but they know the truth. Either they are feeling sorry for you and the children, or laughing at you for being a fool.
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^trust me nobody knows that this has occured. And for the most part we are happy. I know it's hard for you guys to believe that but it's true. I have my days though, and am still healing. People say yeah just leave him, and then what be alone like you with three kids, looking for Mr. Perfect? Mr. Perfect doesn't exisit. It's kinda the 80/20 rule that is applied in my life. My kids don't know shit either. It's the most well kept secret I have.
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so??? what's ur point?
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forgive him, please. he loves you
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gonna ask the same question, would you all tell a man who had his wife cheat on him the same advice. Sure, get tested, but should a man leave a straying wife with the same venom as you all have?
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^I'm not the op, but I know how she feels. Forgiving is the easy part, it's the forgetting and trying to trust him that is the incredible challenge. In my case, I just can't be on that roller coaster anymore. I wish him a great life and much happiness. I just hope that he treats the next woman he gets involved with better than he treated me. No one deserves that kind of pain. I also hope he learns how to keep his "mean streak" under control.:e
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