On the bright side: at least you have the courage and decency to realize and admit you screwed up.
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My ex screwed up like that...then she literally flipped out at work one day from the stress of carrying the guilt. She was fired. I found out about it and then divorced her. I might have let it go, but since she tried to hide it, I canned her right away.
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My husband cheated told me but i still Love him. The truth is the light. Otherwise you are controlling the other person with your lies because you FEAR the worse. There is NO Love in Fear.
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(OP) I'm not going to flip out. What is over is over. I think it is selfish to tell him. It would only hurt him at the expense of making me feel a teeny bit better. This is between me and God. I looked at it from the other point of view. If he had done the same thing and learned his lesson, I don't need to know. I'm not saying that is correct for every couple, but I think that is right for me (us) and I'm satisfied with that. BTW I'm not afraid and I'm sure he wouldn't divorce me. My reason for not telling is what I already said. It would hurt him unnecessarily and he doesn't deserve that.
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^ Bull shit!!!! To the OP: I think you are making the absolutely right decision. You screwed up, you're sorry, what could possibly be a good idea about telling him.
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i think now your living a lie and every minute you are with your guy is wasting his life . reducing his time on earth to crap . i hope he find out and put you out in the cold . he could probably find a real mate !
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The OP is a whore who fears the consequences of her actions. Who the hell is she to decide what is right or wrong for someone else? Not confessing only gives you the label of liar along with cheater, whore, slut, cunt...
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(OP)What "made" me cheat were some serious issues in the relationship that I really can't go into, but essentially unilateral decisions that he made that deeply affected my life. I was lonely and angry and thought I needed the attention. And yes, people that think I should tell I believe are putting myself in THEIR partners shoes. They are afraid that they may be the one cheated on and they can't stand not knowing. Again, I put myself in my husbands shoes and I'm doing what I would want for myself. If he had a one time "fling" (that's all it was) that didn't mean anything (it didn't, and it wasn't all that good, either), I wouldn't want to know. I'd rather stay blissfully ignorant. BTW we have worked out our issues, and I now think I was being selfish and immature. Live and learn. Again, I believe that is the right decision here, I'm not saying it is for everyone.
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OP - you're definitely on the right track. The ones attacking you are undoubtedly women who have neglected their men to the point of abandonment. You have learned from the experience, so there is definitely no reason to tell him.
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How come no body realizes how lucky they are until the have royally screwed up. Great keep the secret. He deserves to know, you coward.
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Sorry, no sympathy for you....Once a cheat always a cheat.
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For crissake, keep you big mouth shut!
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(OP) Exactly. TY.
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You are still lieing. Trying to control the outcome because you are AFRAID you will hurt them or you are AFRAID of the pain it will cause. Yes you are afraid. At Least my husband had courage to tell me. YES it Hurts like nothing I have ever felt, but in the end that is all there is. The Truth now that I know WE can both get past it with nothing to hide or lie or live with feeling horrible. Think about it.
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To the OP - you're obviously a mature woman. You're right, telling him at this point (since it's ended) would just hurt him unnecessarily. Grow from the experience and move forward. And don't beat yourself up.
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Yep only you and the one you slept with knows you're a filthy scum of the Earth whore! I hope you Die slow and alone for you're dirty acts!
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You should've realized your lack of love and addiction to the man before you married him. If you were in love you never would've looked at another in that way. What made you cheat?
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The people telling you not to tell are likely guilty of cheating themselves or have thought maybe thier partner could be cheating and don't want to face the truth. Misery Loves company.
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