If nothing else, get a letter to be sent on your death to her, explaining yourself and why you did what you did. Trying to tell her the truth now could be counterproductive, she may not believe you about the cheating bit. After all, how can you tell when a liar is telling the truth?
Can't say I support what you did, but given the amount of pain, depression, and stress you must currently be in, I can't say I don't understand why you did this.
Getting a letter sent to her after if nothing else will let her know how you really felt about her. Its not like she will believe you stand to gain anything by trying to convince her you didn't cheat. At the very least, she will know that there was someone who loved her.
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I understand what you've done. I wish I would have done the same.
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Good man. I mean, not strictly necessary if she loved you it might be worth it to her to lose you in the end, but that's still big hearted of you to take the pain on yourself.
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The man I have been with for 11 years and just married 3 weeks ago was diagnoised with Leukemia (AML) back in 8/06, went into remission and has relapsed 6/08. Being in a similar situation, I would of been devestated if he had done that to me. His disease has made us closer and our relationship stronger. We appreciate life and each other and enjoy every minute we have together. You owe this to yourself and her. She will be your strength when you think you've given up the battle. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Reach out to her!
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That takes extreme courage to do what you did... I understand it is extremely hard to be totally selfless
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This makes my heart break. The love of my life found out he had a lung cancer. He made me believe that he was cheating and didn't love me any longer. I left. I was brokenhearted, depressed, and thought about ending my life. We didn't speak at all for two months. At the end of two months, his sister called me and told me that he had cancer and was on his death bed. I couldn't believe it. My heart burst and I immediately went to his side. He told me that he was trying to protect me from his passing and that he never cheated and he loved me more than anything. I told him, on his last night, that I would rather be able to spend the rest of his life with him and know that he will always be the love of my life. He passed away 2 hours after I said that. I still am irrevocably in love with him, but I am trying to move on. Tell her. She loves you more than enough to be with you until the very end. Please tell her. She deserves to be by your side. She deserves your love. She deserves the right to hold your hand until the very last breath. Love isn't stoped by death. Trust me.
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I agreed,ND.
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GO fix this before it is too late. YOu are not saving her or yourself any pain, in fact you are denying both of you the chance of unbelievable happiness.
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miracles happen all the time, fight it, tell her it may save you.
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TELL HER!!!!
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YOU F****D UP! GET BACK WITH HER AND TELL HER. Quit being an ass about this and call her. Better yet, have her meet you at your oncologists office. NOW
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She is stronger than you think. You are not as strong as you think. I've read all af the above comments. Proof that good, decent, intelligent people can disagree and not be wrong. While I do understand your decision, and originaly hoped that I would be so noble and selfless, I believe she has rights. Rights earned by the time she has already had with you. I encourage you to tell her. I applaud the spirit in which you made this decision but I think it was the wrong one. Don't doubt that she will believe you. She will.
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I agree. Why put two thru the pain?
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You will be in my prayers...
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she deserves the truth however.
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You think your are protecting her but you are not. You will hurt her more this way she has the right to decide what she wants.
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You deserve love, don't throw it away. You could be the only true love she ever has don't cheat her or yourself. Don't let her harbor bad feelings against you. She will never forgive herself if she finds out after you are already gone. She will beat herself up everyday for believing you. You must! Some people never think they will find love so they waste time not going for it, you have it but you do not have time to waste. Love is the greatest thing on this planet, regret is the worst. You have me in tears.
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thats so horrible! but i can't blame you cause i'll do way worse things in my life
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You're a moron for lying to her, putting her through emotional turmoil over something that did not happen.
How in the world do you feel that lying about a non-existant affair is better than telling the truth about your illness?
Are you terminal?
You broke her heart. Terminal or not, she would have more than likely stood by you through your illness.
You f***ed up.
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you have to tell her or you will wake up everyday wondering where she is and if she is loving someone else
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Okay if you love her you should tell her you shouldn't have broke her heart like you did. Now she probably thinks their is something wrong with herself i knew i thought that when i was cheated on. She is gonna be scared to be with someone again cause you LIED about cheating you were actually true to her. First you broke her heart now you might die and your probably gonna break her spirit aswell. tell her the truth.
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I admire your bravery, what a hard thing to do.
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Tell her. All we take with us beyond this life is the relationships and love we experience. You will both discover a greater love and connection then you've ever had. It's worth it.
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sounds like a good movie
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Tell her. Give her the opportunity to be there for you. I would rather be there for someone that I love and go through the journey with them, nothing could bring two people closer and it's mutually beneficial. When faced with death, life becomes all the more vibrant and beautiful, each moment profound. If you love her and she loves you, you should savor every remaining moment, no matter how scary or bad it gets.
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I watched my mother take 9 years to die from cancer. Ten years later, I held my father's hand when he died from cancer. I was glad I was there both times. Don't do this to her. Tell her the truth. My wife is my rock and my foundation as I am hers. We will fight the good fight to the end because this is the promise we made to each other when we married. Let her be there for you so you both can fight the good fight. John Dunn wrote that no man is an island. Jesus said that when 2 or more are gathered in My name, I am with you. Get her back, you both need each more than you know. God bless!
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Dont listen to them! My best friend just died of Stage IV lung cancer. I am a doctor. If your cancer is in an early stage there is always hope, attitude is everything and fight til the end. But no one survives stage IV. I advised him to leave his wife and 3 children after spending as much time with them as possible. He chose to stay. I was with him until the end. His family was devastated. No one should have to watch a loved one deteriorate like that. She will understand when she finds out.
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For christ sakes man go out there and tell her. Not telling her this and her finding out the truth later on will only hurt her more! I swear if I knew who you were I would fly to wherever you are and force you to tell her.
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damn...all i can say
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Personally, I think you did the right thing...I'd probably do the same thing.
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If you did that to me, I would be crushed. How many times do you hear people say, "I wish I had the chance to tell him how much I loved him.' I would want to be the last person you saw. She deserve to know this may be the last time she sees you. You told her you cheated and then you may not make it through your cancer, so you will be breaking her heart twice. Even if you don't tell her, when she finds out, she is still going to be in pain for losing you. TELL HER. She will be so hurt that she wasn't there for you and be racked with guilt. Ask any women, I guarantee, they will tell you the same thing.
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Does it mean you have to die!! Don't give up yet! She may well be the best reason not to give up! Go tell her the truth before it's too late!!!
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tell her, if she loves you she'll want to be there for you. if she was sick, wouldn't you want to love her through it?
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tell her, you will need someone there for you to over come this let her be that which makes you over come
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Don't do this to you or her.If you truly love her, tell her the truth. She should not find out from someone else nor should she think that you are a louse. There is little upside to being a martyr. Enjoy each other as long as you can.
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You say you love her, but how will she feel when she finds out what you did.
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wow
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Wow... she'll find out eventually. She WILL forgive you.
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Stop smoking! Stupid Fuck
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I call BS. I've heard this same story retold countless times on this stupid site. I'm done!
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I call bull shit.
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2^. No kidding. At least had you told her, you could have given her the honor of knowing she stood by your side and faced the end with you.
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love is not about lying. It is about sharing. Tell her the truth. She still might not forgive you. Would you like her to be glad you died cause you were a cheat? Part of love is the pain. It let's you know you are alive, and it is real.
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love is not about lying. It is about sharing. Tell her the truth. She still might not forgive you. Would you like her to be glad you died cause you were a cheat? Part of love is the pain. It let's you know you are alive, and it is real.
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Don't DO THIS to her...It isn't the right thing to do...let her love you till the last...
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Don't do this....tell her.....I would want to know.
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I hope you at least write her a letter to be opened after your death telling her the truth. If you really love her that would be the thing to do you selfish prick.
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She will hate you and think that you got what you deserved....you will have made a mockery of her love for you because of your selfish, self righteous actions. Your a bastard to have stolen her love and caring from her...
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That's just chicken shit. Seriously, people who say they hurt the people they love to protect them, are just too immature to deal with love.
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i was diagnosed with stage 4 rectal cancer a little over 2 years ago, just had my main surgery a couple months ago, i will survive, but it damn neared killed me to see what it was doing to my family, but if it wasnt for them things would been a lot harder for me to get through. its hell to know your causn a loved one pain, but that will be their choice to stay or go. Dont listen to your mind, listen to your heart. Good luck and have a speedy recovery when you kick that cancers ass!!!
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Shit happens but now you have two ruined lives. Good work dumbass
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Write her a note, mail it before you die.
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