oh honey...i know exactly what you mean.i have been in the same position for almost 4 years now...and just dont have the heart to tell him how i feel...
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...can't imagine the pain for either of you. I hope you both can move forward together. Talking a lot is probably the best course to take...even if its difficult.
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She passed long before I met him and he says that he has feelings for me that he hasn't felt for anyone since her. I do love him and don't want him to think that I resent him or her for that matter.
She was his first real love. No one can ever compete with that, I don't think.
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You can't compete with it but maybe you should tell him how it makes you feel. Maybe he doesn't realize. I also think it is a little disrepectful for her to keep talking to you about her. Would he be okay with you talking about your first love? He needs to try give you some credit for being there now.
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I told him it didn't bother me and I want him to feel at ease to talk to me about everything. I just listen to him talk about times "back then" just telling me about things he used to do. She was a part of his life then so it's something I have to deal with.
He does give me credit, which is why I don't say anything to him.
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He's messing with you. He doesn't need to do that. He can think those thoughts all he wants but if he was compassionate, you would be getting all of his attention. You should accidentally leave this secret open on your computer screen while he is there. He'll get the point.
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^ Calling them pigs is an insult to pigs.
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Thanks! : )
I was shocked to read such a bunch of ridiculous, insensitive commetns on a site meant to tell secrets like this.
When they lose someone they love to death (or Heaven forbid they date someone who has) they'll understand.
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I'm not vindictive. He doesn't do it to hurt me, either
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I don't think you all are getting it...He doesn't sit around and tell me how much he still loves her or anything...he just talks about times and she happened to be around.
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You will be the one he loves the deepest if you let him talk and say nothing negative or ask him to stop. Eventually it will end of its own weight and you will be the angel who listened. He needs to work through the pain and you being the honest broker will also be the honored and respected partner who put him first. Your strength in dealing with this will prove not only your love but his good choice of a new life partner. God bless you for understanding and good luck. This will pass as all things do.
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I was widowed at the age of 34. He was my first love, and I can identify with your man, and your situation. He does not mean to hurt you, he is just working through his feelings, and it does NOT mean that he loves you any less. What people don't understand, is that when your spouse dies, every aspect of your life is changed completely and forever. It sends you reeling for quite a while. Just let him talk if he feels the need. The fact that he feels secure enough in your relationship, and comfortable enough with you to share his feelings, really speaks volumes about his love for you. Give him time, and build your own memories with him. His need to talk about his ex, will lessen greatly over time. ((((hugs))))
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i can't sympathize with you because i dated a girl who kept talking about her ex's and i finally just said f*** it and told her why i was dumping her ass. i have no doubt that she talks about me. i couldn't care less.
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These last 9 commenters except 3^ are obviously immature, children who haven't gotten past the self-centered ME stage of life and probably never will. Such selfish, deranged, inhuman tripe is so mean and ugly that I pray these people are no one I know and that they are all pissed on by life and anyone that comes in contact with them. You are all sick, nasty, unfeeling monsters. You obviously are too young to have lost anyone to death and when you finally do I hoped it devestates you. PIGS!
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You shouldnt have what they had. And the emphasis is on had. You should be making your own "haves" and living it to the fullest. Sounds like a great guy. I dont think people can just stop loving or caring for others just because of death. It wasnt a choice that they made, it just happened. Sounds like YOU were a choice that he made and you should make the most of it. Would you want him to forget you if something(God forbid)happened to you?
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