I agree with the OP. It's suppose to be relaxing, not a test to see how strong his grip is.
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I almost never like a massage. I'm tender skinned and tender headed and almost all of them hurt, and I bruise easily. It took a long time for me to break my boyfriend of the habit of his so-called "deep massage" which was really just torture for me. I finally did it with humor. I would tease that he was Hercules "Geez Louise, have you been working out?!" or similar comments which suggested he had superhuman strength, and then make fun of myself in the process, like, "Oooh, you're too strong for me, I can't take it. I also can feel a pea under my mattress. That story was based on me, you know. Princess and the Pea." The more I teased and made jokes "Owwww, I'll talk, I'll talk, yes I was the one in the library with the tire iron!" -- the more he relaxed about it, and eventually got softer and softer until I sighed "Ahhhhh, that's it." Now we never have a problem. Now if only he'd actually scratch harder when I have a back itch. ;)
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Open your mouth! How will he know what you like or don't like if you do not tell him?
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I wonder why it is so hard to just tell someone? "A little softer please" If they get offended they are not very bright. Who wants to hurt their wife? I mean, besides Dago, who wants to hurt their wife?
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Thanks for the suggestions of "easy ways" to break it to him.Especially using humor. That is great advice thanks!
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Ain't nobody ever "toughing" me!
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Dago i think that you should let Dover know how you really feel. Tell him how you enjoy the rough anal but that you want to be massaged as if you were a delicate flower.
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yeah I had an ex like that. He thought I liked it, but I was almost in tears every time
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My husband does the same shit to me. I love him but I think he thinks if he does it too hard I'll ask him to quit doing it. Not gonna happen.
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If you are going to be with someone, shouldn't you be able to talk about something as little as this? Are you abused? Why can't you ask for what you want?
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You tell this guy you'd prefer him to massage softer in every way but words, and he still doesn't pick up on your expressions, body language and tone? Gee, for somebody to be that clueless, he'd have to be male, not a female. Oh wait! Blokes like to be told. What we get upset about is being criticised when we haven't been told. And no, non-verbal communication does not count as being told.Upbeat tellings are the best. You'll be astonished how totally you can wrap a man around your fingers with a compliment. Even if the compliment is undeserved, we'll bust a gut to earn it in future. "Oh, that softer rub just there was absolutely the best yet!" Run that sort of thing a few times, and before you know it, you'll have to beg him to rub harder, because he's so feather-light you can't even feel it.
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Chickadee, get a clue; if he's giving you a massage, he wants to please you, make you feel good and enjoy touching your female flesh too. He will appreciate you guiding him to the right touch.
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Why in hell would you not say you're being hurt???? He isn't doing it on purpose, he just needs some input from you some he can improve his technique. SPEAK UP!
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why is it so difficult for women to get it through their thick f--k--g skulls,that we are not mind readers. u need to verbally communicate. try it, u may be astonished at the results.
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