Damn. I could have written this one. There will be people that will say, just leave, you deserve better, yada yada, but I know first hand it is not easy to do. I beat myself up everyday for not leaving him last summer when things got real bad. He broke me. Now I am way too weak to leave because of what I've been through. Though it is terrible, yes, I love him, and he is pretty much all I have. Up until last fall I was the most confident, happy, positive person...now I am a bitter, angry, depressed b**** who doesn't give a crap. Total 180. Before you all tell me it was my fault for allowing it, you didn't go through it...you don't know the details. Kudos to you for being so much stronger.
|
| Remove this stupid comment |
|
Well, then if that's how you choose to be and what you choose to accept, then more power to ya I guess.
|
| Remove this stupid comment |
|
1 up, exactly. The "Why?" Because you believe that you are unloveable and worthless, and you think you love him, without loving or evening liking yourself. I hate that kind of trite advice -- it's easy to say "you need to love yourself more than you think you love him -- but it happens to be true. This is really a disturbing secret. It ISN'T love if it isn't shared, and for the commenter who said "you should leave me, you deserve better" -- that isn't what it sounds like this person is saying. It sounds like active aggression and verbal abuse. Leave because you are hideous and worthless. Not because the abusive person is! If you AGREE that you are hideous and worthless, than by all means, hang around until you are broken down even further. You can't make anyone value you more than you value yourself, and clearly, you've made yourself out to be unworthy of respect, let alone love. That was your choice and for whatever reason, you made it. Now, change your choice.
|
| Remove this stupid comment |
|
Dump him/her now/
|
| Remove this stupid comment |
|
What makes he/she worth it? Maybe if they really knew they would treat you better.
|
| Remove this stupid comment |
|
I tell my boyfriend I wish he'd just leave all the time - he is an asshole. Why don't I leave? Our 3 kids... What are you doing to make him/her say those things to you?
|
| Remove this stupid comment |
|
WTF females have more problems than males?
|
| Remove this stupid comment |
|
youre worthless and weak
|
| Remove this stupid comment |
|
Honey\Hun . The time will come when you have had enough. Your instinct will tell you. Someday you will get tired and take a deep breath and move on. Trust me. You might feel that you cannot escape. that's okay for right now. Just beleive me that there will come a day when you can pull your shoulder's back take a breath and walk away. I promise you...LJ
|
| Remove this stupid comment |
|
who says it's a female???
|
| Remove this stupid comment |
|
With love like that who need enemies
|
| Remove this stupid comment |
|
Tends to be females who have this problem more than men I guess
|
| Remove this stupid comment |
|
damn girl, I could write a book on you. heres the deal though, you need an excape. Start with the easy stuff and go on line when you are alone. Go somewhere discreat like Craigslist. it may take meeting a few guys but stay with it. Don't do anything you dont want to but meet more people. You'll find him. He's out there. your life can be amazing.
|
| Remove this stupid comment |
|
wtf is excape??? I hope someday you escape your retardedness!
|
| Remove this stupid comment |
|
Marquis de Sade has a lot to say on this subject. (Freud amongst others stole a lot from him.) Why do you feel so good when you feel so bad? I don't know the answers but when my wife treats me bad and then makes it up to me, I feel good. Sado-masochism would be an interesting research subject.
|
| Remove this stupid comment |
|
I don't mean to be rude or anything, but that does make you kind of hideous and worthless. Not to the world but to yourself.
|
| Remove this stupid comment |
|
this makes me feel sad...good luck
|
| Remove this stupid comment |
|
Of for gawds sake get over it and walk the f*** away- Have some self respect!
|
| Remove this stupid comment |
|
can we say codependent?
|
| Remove this stupid comment |
|
I agree with the first post, unless you've been through it you don't understand. There's a book called Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft. Try reading it, it may help.
|
| Remove this stupid comment |
|
Yeah I understand its hard but you'll know when you had enough. Its not really love that's keeping you there, its a self esteem issue. Im pretty sure if someone decent came along it would make the transition so much more smoother. I've been where you are...I felt I could not move on without him. But..you'll be missing out. With my split..I learned how to make myself happy instead of relying on your bf/hubs to make you happy. Im not saying it won't hurt when things go wrong but I know men can't stand a woman who is doing what you're doing. He'll continue to treat you like this because he knows you'll always be there. The TOUGHEST part is taking the first step in breaking away. But like I said....it won't take any of us to tell you this. You'll know when you're ready.
|
| Remove this stupid comment |
|
