I'm assuming that last line is some kind of reference to cutting yourself or something? Maybe you should seek out professional help instead of just supposedly drifting away into oblivion. If you can recognize it happening, you're not half as far gone as you imagine.
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Having spent so much time on an help site helping others with a variety of issues, I too recognize your reference to self harm. I am certain you can find diversions and start living a life that keeps you so interested that the urge fades away. And while I am not a self harmer, I do understand so much what leads you to do it and I have lived with the drifting loss of all my dreams and passions falling away to sleep away days and weeks slipping between dreams of those I knew and fixations on all that is lost. It helped immensly to offer advice to others on that help site. There are many out there. Daily Strength may be a good start. Post Secrets online community seems to be another or check out the Experience Project. You sent this in hoping for a lifeline. Just grab it and keep us updated on your progress. Peace.
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Me too.
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I will say a prayer for you...be strong!
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I think you are "getting" reality
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