Birth parents do not always hug. I hope that you had a good life with the parents that adopted you. Sometimes we can heal by giving to others what we feel is missing in our lives. But be prepared for the age when your son draws away from hugs. Enjoy this while you can.
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While it's an admirable goal to make sure your son feels loved every single day, make sure you don't think a "hug" takes care of it simply because that's what YOU needed or didn't get. He may have different needs entirely, and you may be overlooking something simple that he prefers to a hug. The hug is for you, in other words. Make sure you show him in other ways that are meaningful to him, as well.
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I commend you for being pro-active. If putting it on the calander is how you make sure it's done, then do that.
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I wasn't show much affection or attention when I was growing up either. I crave it. I finally met someone that makes me feel loved, I'm glad your son won't have to wait til he is 32 to feel whole and normal. I hope you have someone to hug you as well.
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My parents never hugged me or said I love you or great job or ANY PRAISE at all. I always felt like I was an embaressment but later after my Dad died his friends all said how much he used to say how proud he was of me and my sister.. he never said a word to us.
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My real parents didn't hug me until I was about 23. I feel wierd now that they do. I actually feel more comfortable hugging my friends and wife. I know I will hug my children when they come.
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Like someone said earlier, not everyone equates love with a hug. My mother would hug me, but she was physically and emotionally abusive. I cringe when people hug me now. I showed my children love in many ways, but I was not big on the bear hug things. A kiss on the forehead was more my style. Hugs do not mean love to everyone, and no one ever loves you the way you need to be loved.
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GOD,I hope you aren't the son I gave up for adoption!!!!!!
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If you have to use a calendar to remember to hug your son, what happens when he realizes thats the only way you can remember to show him affection?
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It is sad to see that you have to remind yourself to love your son. Hugs should be frequent, unschedualed and sincere, not schedualed, rationed and need reminders.
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