Lots of ex's wouldn't go. Your parents, siblings and friends who have truly loved you will be there supporting each other. The funeral is really about supporting the surviving family. Your 'secret' really sounds like a line Jackie would say on 'That 70's Show'.
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I think we all do that. I imagine my eulogy all the time, and frankly, it's a good thing to do now and again, to make sure you live your life in such a way that people don't want to say "no, YOU do it" to one another, and everyone has at least one decent or kind thing to say.
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i won't be there babe. sorry but i have moved on and apart from you. sorry to hear that you have died though. my best to your family.
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Is that from the von Hagens exhibit? Cool. And seriously, there is nothing cute about funerals.
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