Don't disappear. He still needs you even if he said he doesn't want you to see him. This will take time.
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i agree. as horrible as this may be, it might actually bring you closer in the long run when he realizes that no matter how he looks you won't abandon him. if you leave, you just may regret it for the rest of your life. Good luck to you both.
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Was it your fault?
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Start living your life for yourself. Communicate with him any way you can. A "Love Mom" note will always be a way to make his day.
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He needs you, no matter what. Dissapearing will only take the scars from his skin, to his heart. He needs your support, even when he tells you he doesn't want it. Be there with him. Be there for him. Love him with everything, and show it.
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Why would you even consider leaving him? He's going through a life altering situation and needs his mother and needs to know people will still love him even if he's got burns. Do not abandon your son in such a time of need. Never abandon your children.
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To the poster above this- you are an idiot. The love she obviously feels for her child is undeniable and she just wanted to see him - not betray him. In looking at what he said in his text, He loves you still and misses you or he would not have text. There is just something telling him that right now it is best for him and you that you step back for a bit until he is ready. At 27 he is an adult and as such he is making an adult decision for himself. Maybe there are feelings of resentment or blame, they may be completely incorrect or unfounded they are there and he is trying to deal with that his own way. Doesn't mean he doesn't love you or need you. Take it easy and give him his space, it will pay off in aces later.
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OP: He is my child. I had to see him. I never betrayed him. I will sneak and see him whenever I can, however, he is asking for me now. The DR was right. I was the protector and he felt I was going to take it all away. When I couldnt, he blamed me. But his body and mind are getting better. And to the above poster, you need to maybe get some help yourself, or else maybe you never had a child. Thats all I have to say to you, although I can think of a lot more, I am not letting myself think negative thoughts and you mean nothing to me. Thanks to all the ones on here supporting me. Not only did I sneak and see him. I took his picture , so get over it. He will, I am sure.
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If you disapear you will only hurt others. I lost my son he was only 4 I want to disapear all the time. We have to move forward and deal with life. We will heal and he still needs you.
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It's going to work out in the end. The above poster is right. He needs you. At least..at least he's still there. At least you can still smell him, and hear his voice, even when it's angry. Be thankful for that. And the second post above mine could be right on the dime...What if he's afraid you won't love him because of what he looks like anymore?
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I agree with the comment 6 up. He may, in fact, love you so much that he can't bear to let you see him suffer. I hope it all turns out well. It'll be tough, but hang in there.
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How old is your son?
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OP: My son is 27. He is the youngest. He sent me a text and said "I am sorry Mom, I love you". But when I said "Can I see you?, Please baby" He said "no". But while he slept, I went in his hospital room. I think I am going to die.
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OP: Just to be clear, I wont kill myself. I mean die of heartbreak.
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as I said before he does not want to see you becouse he fears your rejection. Not seeing you hurts, being rejected would kill him. so he settled for the lessor pain. hang close be there when he is ready, He could risk being rejected by the others, he cant bear to risk your rejection so he keeps you away. Be there for him and for your relationship, god bless
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I'm thinking there is a lot more to the backstory than can be typed in this forum. A son horribly injured will want his mother -- almost always. The fact he has let everyone else support and comfort him, and not his mother, suggests strongly that the relationship was damaged in some other way. I'm sorry for your pain in either case, but is it possible your relationship was not as great as you claimed or believed? Are you causing him angst or more suffering than you are aware? Is the environment where you are difficult or stressful (e.g., you have drama at home)? Think hard about other reasons that may make him believe seeing you or being with you is not healthy for him.
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running from the situation will only set you up for misery down the line. Stay, wait it out, keep reaching out. OR better yet, be honest with him about how you're feeling. Honesty would solve 90% of the worlds problems.
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OP: I did tell him I loved him of course when they life flighted him. I talked to the Dr. today. He said sometimes they need someone to blame for not "fixing" it, and who else but the protector. To the poster that said I we didnt have a good relationship, we did. We were always playing, scaring each other , hugging, laughing, doing things together. The Dr. feels that he can talk to him and maybe make him understand I cant help him. Anyway, thanks for listening and for the advice, good or bad. I have not changed my mind about leaving yet, but we will see what the future brings. I think you can actually die from heart break.
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I have a totally different thought about your son not wanting you to see him. Perhaps he loves you so much that he doesn't want you to see him in such horrific misery and physical trauma. If I were in such condition I would not want my mother to witness my pain and suffering and I love her very much.
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Just a thought here ..but when ppl don't talk about things to others..they don't express their intentions ect...their reasons for doing things..they can really hurt others alot ! Why can't he at least tell his mom why? I feel so much pain for the mom here ..that has got to be hard ! You are not alone . Pls try your hardest to understand that some ppl just can't deal with things like others..and i'm so sorry it has to be your son! The comment three above me ..i hope so much that you at least would explain that to your loved one so they weren't left to feel they did something wrong! So many get damaged for things left unsaid!
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who EVER said it was the MOM it could just as easily be his DAD. the OP never said weather it was MOM or DAD. lol @ ya'lls assumptions
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He does not want you to see him becouse he is afraid that you won't accept him. By dissapearing you are showing him he is right. He is injured and you need to be stronger than him right now.For him and for yourself.
God Bless
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I agree with 2 posts up. In the end, it will work out. It may take time. God Bless
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I am OP: No, I didnt hurt him. He was hurt by a bonfire when an idiot poured gasoline on the fire and the can exploded and caught him on fire. He lets his sisters and brothers in, his grandma and aunts. But I watched his surgery through pictures on a cell phone. My heart is broken. I think this is his way of saying he really didnt love me
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PS: I am the Mom, not the Dad. He will see his Dad.
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It's got to be awful to know your baby is in such pain and not to be able to comfort him. It sounds like he's been through a terrible trauma with this accident. Perhaps he's just not thinking clearly.
Don't leave. Whether he'll admit it or not, he needs to know you are there for him.
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