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When people ask how my disabled son is doing and I say 'He's doing really well!' its because I don't think they can handle reality.I say what they want to hear.

When people ask how my disabled son is doing and I say 'He's doing really well!' its because I don't think they can handle reality.I say what they want to hear.

 
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Category: secrets

 
Good point! Just tell them the truth. They won't be so nosy the next time..and..it will bring some awareness to them as well.
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the obligatory answer is "Fine." everybody knows this and thanks you for it.
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No, the obligatory answer isn't fine, and it isn't to make someone uncomfortable with a medical history either. It takes finesse and tact to know how much to share. I don't like hearing "fine" when the answer isn't fine. If I ask, I mean it. If it's a bad week, sometimes it's just fine to say "Oh, we're having a bad week, this time around." You can always wait to see if additional questions are forthcoming, and then parcel them out until you are certain they have the true interest, AND the time, for, the answer. Shortening it to "fine" is both unfair to you, unfair to your son, and doesn't show any trust or confidence in the true friends who mean what they ask.
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sharon?
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I am sorry that you have to go thru this, but you don't have to do it alone. Tell the truth, or modified truth...some will leave it @ that and others will ask more questions. True friends come out this way. Good luck and don't keep it all inside...maybe a support group?
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Tell them the truth who cares if they wanna hear it. God bless yo and him !
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I think when people ask "How is it going", "How ya doing", "Hows your son", "Wassup", etc. it's a cordial greeting, just a recognition meant with the best of intentions. No one really wants to know the details, it's just recognition. Be glad some remember your son and your phlight enough to comment and say it to you. You should say, "Thanks for asking, some days are better than others, today could be better". When you ask someone, "How's it going" do you want to hear about the arguement they had with their spouse last night or that their kid wouldn't go to sleep last night, that they don't have the funds to make their mortgage payment, etc? Of course not. Take it accordingly.
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