you have lost a loved one, someone you shared your heart and soul with for 18 years... Learn to understand your grief, so that you can move on and learn to trust/love again.
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I would gladly talk to any friend who called me even if we haven't spoken in years. I lost a friend 2 years ago to Lukemia and when you lose friends either through loss of contact or death, it hurts either way. Reach out and try to contact that person. If they reject you, then at least you know that YOU tried and that they have a problem and will hopefully come around some day.
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I just went through the same thing after 25 years. I was always the one who had to be the strong shoulder. When things were going good he never called me. I got sick of that crap and told him to f*** off recently.
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Maybe YOU weren't a good friend to them... Didyou ever think of that? I'm cutting a so-called friend out of my life, right now, because she's not the friend I thought she was. Look inside yourself.
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Losing a friend or a loved one can hurt very much...now what' for supper, Bit ch?
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