A very intelligent question. As someone who has suffered depression, I can state certainly that selfishness - and self-centredness - is a massive factor. I had to stop being so selfish. Thinking of others and being less selfish is one way out of depression (and better than any medication in my case).
Sometimes you have to be harsh to be kind - and give him a firm proverbial kick up the ass.
Good luck. :)
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I was with her for almost two years after the breakdown that landed her in the hospital. My relationship with her cost me several friendships and was impacting my relationship with my own kids. I stuck with her far beyond what anyone else would have tolerated, all in the name of love and a desire for her to get better and for us to build a life together. We were both divorced- this was our fresh start.
Only she didn't start- she isolated herself in my house, not talking to anyone but me or occasionally her siblings, and if I was gone for the day I would get panicky weepy phone calls. Not a good basis on which to build a relationship.
Days were spent in bed. I would get calls while at work, with her weeping because there wasn't food in the house. She had a car and money, but couldn't bring herself to go get food. I ended up cooking for both of us and shopping after work, and she spent her days watching TV and eating.
Once she started to get back on her feet and found a job and got herself stable, I moved her out. Some say it should have happened long before that point- but I couldn't bring myself to throw a mentally ill person out onto the street. I had to make sure she could care for herself.
Now here we both are, single again, starting over again, wounded but wiser. Or at least I am. God knows what will happen to her. She still calls me in tears, but I cannot go back into her emotional black hole- I have to protect myself and my children.
Interestingly, her own adult children refuse to have anything to do with her. That makes it even sadder still.
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My wife was like that although not as bad. She came across as a poor little abused girl when we were dating and a selfish disloyal littel b**** after we were married. I divorced her and the first week spent in a place where she wasn't living was like a natural high.
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Marriage is not the cure for anything.
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My 'crazy' is contained because I love my family and the people around me. Every few years, I may have go away for month to the hospital if dark times start taking over but I go willingly because I don't want to shitty up everyone else's life. I see someone once a week for maintenance.
Some people cream over their misery and the attention it brings them. They are tiresome and selfish and ought to be banished to their own freakin island where they can be irritating together.
Good Luck
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Where does depression end and self indulgence begin? If we could answer that question we would both know what to do and how to act... Things can happen that leaves someone who should have been beautiful crushed by everyone that should have been there for them-sometimes from birth, really just f***ed up, maybe like a coke can, you may not be able to help them uncrush them, they may not know how to be uncrushed. Too hard for us all. Do your best and try not to let it crush you too. And sometimes it just feels like whining doesn't it
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can only save ones self, its up to each of us to find the way to happiness, you -me -them we are not responsible for the happiness of others
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When you eat a half gallon of ice cream in one sitting?
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i was depressed then i found marijauna,now i cant help but be happy.
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He was my first love. I loved him with all my heart. when I realized he was probably depressed I loved him even more to help him through it. I couldn't save him with my love so we're apart again and now I don't trust anything he says. He numbs his personal pain with alcohol and weed. I still love and feel for him even though he broke my heart into a million pieces.
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