I sense Jealousy
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op here. yes i am a woman, one of his best friends. i grew up with both of them and alcoholism and drug abuse is something they have both dealt with. i am not jealous of her by any means (i have a wonderful husband), i just needed a safe place to express myself. her drug abuse and alcoholism worries me and always has. when she found out 5 weeks into her pregnancy that she was carrying his child she said she quit using and i really hope that is true. he has told me he hopes having a child will make her less selfish and i hope for all their sakes he is right. all i want is for that child to be raised by two happy stable parents. children are gifts from god and should be cherished. i know i cant do anything about it at this point, it is up to them to make positive changes and all i can do is try to be as supportive as possible.
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Ummm...sorry but CPS has been caught up in some nasty scandals involving abuse, mistreatment and neglect. Michael Landon kicked ass and talked sense, always stood up for the kids. The only sad part is that there was only one Michael Landon.
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lol that is true, I guess children are lucky to live in these times now aren't they.:)
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^ You never know until you try. Assuming is not necessary if you try. There was no CPS on Little House on the Prairie.
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I was already assuming that the parents are alcoholics/addicts, and they generally don't respond well to interventions that include people accusing them of abusing their children. An intervention on the subject of their addiction is one thing, but accusing them of abuse is even more confrontational and difficult to do at the same time as the substance abuse intervention. Most addicts do not respond to non-law enforcement interventions that do not interrupt their freedoms. Unfortunately the abuse can not be addressed until the substance abuse is addressed, and that is not addressed until the person is forced into treatment by fear of loss of freedom. I mean, you can say, "Hey, you know what? It would be so much easier for you to enjoy being a drunk/druggie if "I/family/friends" took care of your kids for you while you enjoy your binges and way of life. That would be a way of getting the kids away from the abuse while some sort of intervention goes forward for the substance abuse...and yes having a parent on the side of the people taking care of the child is ALWAYS helpful, but not usually something that is available or the children wouldn't be being abused in the first place. Depends on the resources of the people intervening, but CPS has the best enforcement of getting the children away from the abuse if the substance abuser isn't subject to an intervention that is successful with taking away freedom.
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^ You're wrong about not being able to do anything. First, you don't know how deeply in denial one or both are UNTIL you confront them. Second, one or both can come out of denial. It happens everyday, usually with the help of friends and family. Clergymen and therapists have been to known to help out in interventions as well. Third, I did not rule out CPS as a TACTIC (it's not a strategy). My problem is that people jump at the anonymous hotline, because they are too busy or chickenshit to confront a person they care for on their destructive behavior. "(unless you have one parent on your side, because they have legal rights to the child's custody)" Sounds like it might be possible in this instance.
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THAT baby? Don't you mean YOUR baby? How about growing a pair of balls and dealing with the situation?
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^sad but true. damn i am lucky to have a decent man, but i didnt marry him for anything other than love :)
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He wouldn't want her anymore if she wasn't selfish, guys love the chase, the unattainable. She does for herself and steals from him and shows him absolutely no affection I am sure, just like most. Unfortunately it is a vicious circle, guys want that, and good girls want a good guy not one they can walk all over. He deserves what he gets, unfortunately her selfishness has resulted in bringing a child into the world. I say kick her in the tummy, it is best for the child in the long run. Better to suffer an hour than decades of this hell.
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If you are NOT immediate family, mind your own business. Worry about what you can do to change your life for the better. (sincere, not trying to be mean ;) )
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If you really care about him and the child then intervene. Especially if the woman is still drinking and using in pregnancy. Call CPS. In some states women can be charged with child abuse if they are pregnant and using and then advise him to seek legal custody and the best drs around to help the baby.
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He doesn't look very happy, and his hand is right hand is moving to protect his package from her.
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2 up is right - I take it you're a woman because you sound maternal, and as if you'd like to have him. He's about to have his hands full, adding that baby to the mix of the alcohol pill head, so best thing for you to do is turn and run from the scene.
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Have a fun life
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I sense a need for a butt-out-ski
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NO actually you cannot do ANYTHING to fix the problem if the parents of the abused child are in denial that they are abusive to their child! SO therefore, asking the authorities who have legal power to actually punish the parent or parents, place the children in a safe place(family or not) while the idiot parents get their shit in order(IF EVER) is not outsourcing the problem, it is SOLVING THE PROBLEM BY WAY OF LAW AKA: PERMANENT SOLUTION. If you, and any other people you are able to identify with that agree there is a problem think for one second that YOU have any authority over whether the parents will change their behavior or way of life, then you are sadly mistaken.(unless you have one parent on your side, because they have legal rights to the child's custody) HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING AN ADULT, and everything to do with common sense and strategy.
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^ Is avoiding conflict your idea of decent behavior? What do you think calling CPS does? It outsources the conflict, because people are too weak to deal with it in their own families. If there is a serious problem, the first step should be identifying others who perceive the problem and discussing ways to deal with it. That's called being an adult.
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Like an adult? meaning what? get into a confrontation with a drug addict and the piece of shit stupid enough to have a baby and support her? give me a break.
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Why not try to deal with the problem like an adult before calling in Big Bro? It's doubtful you're the only one feeling this way.
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fine report to CPS if you have direct knowledge that abuse is occurring, if you don't call and say you suspect it...other than that mind your own business. If you are an ex of either him or her...then REALLY REALLY mind your own business :)
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^BS. Don't need to be immediate family when child abuse is involved. Too many ppl "minding their own business" translation > being apathetic while the lives of children are at stake.
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