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You suicided in front of me. That's no secret. My secret? I hate your fucking guts for ruining my life just because you were too weak to live yours.

You suicided in front of me. That's no secret. My secret? I hate your fucking guts for ruining my life just because you were too weak to live yours.

 
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Category: Secrets

 
Your hate is part the selfishness of her act
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What you witnessed is honorable beyond words but your unforgiving heart is what's destroying your life. Forgiveness is the first step to healing.
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^...the NOISE...O M G, ear shattering !!
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I've never experienced such a thing as the post but unforgivness pain = hate
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You should have taken her gun a shot her again for doing it in your presence. That would have healed your hate.
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Talk to a mental health professional about it.
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you don't have to keep this a secret.........many would understand. Hopefully you will get to a point to understand that they must have been in horrible pain and truly thought the world would be better without them..........
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There are groups of suicide survivors who can help. The hate you profess is a temporary survival mechanism to help w/ your pain, and its time to move to the next step, others can help.**ADMIN: What's with all the asinine hate posters here of late?**
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2 up. Wanna bet on that? Any time I try to talk about what happened, people get really uncomfortable. NO one wants to hear it. I guarantee you...
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You are right people get very uncomfortable, I have lost friends because they do not know how to react, they do not need to react just be there as they always were. At times I still feel the anger but I can move on where my child has difficulties even after counseling.
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This is the OP. Thanks to all for your input. In response to Post 3: this is not meant to sound elitest, but I think you wouldn't understand unless you had been there. His pain is finished, thanks to a self-inflicted bullet to the head. I, on the other hand, get to live with that scene replaying in my head. This is a burden he forced onto my shoulders without my consent and I think he was wrong to do that. There were other details I will not discuss that he was wrong to do, and friends and family will live with this indefinitely.Re: Professional help. Yes I've seen several therapists, but none so far have been very useful. Will continue to pursue.Re: understanding he was in pain. Of course I understand he was in pain. I think your comments are indicative of how we have romanticized suicide in society. He offed himself. He is no longer suffering the consequences of his actions. His friends and family, however, are suffering the consequences of his actions, and will continue to do so for the rest of their lives.Time will of course make this easier to deal with. But until then, I'm going to deal with my phases of grief, and if anger is one of them, so be it.
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Yeh, get some help. Being mad is okay. You can get over it.
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its ok not to forgive. just as long as your at peace with it. like i am. and no one can tell you how to deal with it. you need to deal in your own way that brings you peace.
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Did you video it? Try Youtube
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At least they didn`t shoot you first!!
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I feel for you, hope time will heal your wounds. Suicide is an extremely selfish thing, there is no stopping them it is the only way they can feel they will stop their pain. I woke to find my spouse took their life 4 years ago.
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Different but similar circumstances and I totally get you. I hate him for dying!
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