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I have failed my kids.  Not one of these adult children has a job and I'm working two jobs to maintain multiple households.  It isn't fair and I'm very angry.

I have failed my kids. Not one of these adult children has a job and I'm working two jobs to maintain multiple households. It isn't fair and I'm very angry.

 
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Category: Secrets

 
Probably part of the problem is that you gave them everything without teaching them the value of giving rather than taking.
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You need to feed that dog more it looks to skinny.
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cut them off... Believe me they will find a way to survive! SINK OR SWIM!
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charge the lazy bastards rent if they dont wanna pay show them the door. i charge my to adult kids 50$ per week and they whine so next month i told them its going up to a hundred a week and if they dont like it theres the door
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First, it's not my dog, but I wish it was. I would feed it. Second, I love my boys dearly and have indulged them too much. They even admit they're spoiled rotten. Third, I'm gearing up for that big "family meeting" that will come with hurt feelings and harsh words because I am tired of it. And last, I've raised these boys working for a living and never used any of the "social bondage" they call welfare or whatnot and I did not put any of them back on the healthcare. I refuse to contribute to that mess at all! And dipshit with the AK47. What the hell is this board for if we can't "complain" once in a while? And I got an AK47 for you. Open wide.
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^^^You go, girl, on the AK47 comment. My mom raised 4 of us without one handout. But where she screwed up was by never demanding of us to save money or contribute financially or around the house. When I finally moved out I was a mess.I did not know how to save, I did not know how to budget.Nothing. Through plenty of f*** ups over many, many years, I finally figured it out. Take it from me. You should tell your kids and demand from them-be sure to NEVER, EVER BACK DOWN-that they will CONSISTANTLY help EVERYDAY with the dishes and cleaning. EVERY WEEK, and I mean EVERY WEEK, they will be required to wash their own clothes and keep their rooms straightened. Tell them from now onward they will pay to live in YOUR home. Take what you need to live and take a little and put it in savings. When they move out you can give it to them as an example of the importance of saving. If my mom would have done these simple things, my life would have been so much easier. Instead, my mom thought she was showing her love by just letting her kids do whatever around the house, which was as little as possible. Your kids are doing the same to you because that is the way you conditioned them to behave. It is time for you to change and for them to change too.
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^^I am the post 6 and 7 up: I am sorry about your mentally handicap son. That requires a type of mothering no-one in this forum can advise on except the ones who are in the same position. I also had a brother with serious heart ailments. He was still functional as an adult.You can cater to that kid's heath issues, but you should demand that he mind you and take responsibility in his life and around the house. One thing my mom never figured out was that there was a line I would never cross with her. If she would have snatched me up by the collar and dared me to challenge her, i would have never crossed that linde and wouldd have done what I was told.
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Don't be sorry for me :) He's a very wonderful, warm and loving person and I'm thrilled he's mine :) I think I'm very blessed to have had him, for certain.
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And I suppose there is no husband/father in the picture? That's what happens where you have single parent families and that's why society is going to hell.
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He was murdered about 5 years ago, actually...Thanks for asking and assuming...So spoiling my kids naturally means I'm a single parent? Wow....sheltered life I'd say.
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Tell your kids to find jobs and contribute to the household they live in, or be gone! And you know what? Your kids did not get this way over night, and they did not get this way by themselves!
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^^^Also, set a daily and weekly schedule for the chores they will be responsible doing. Let them know there will be hell to pay if they f*** up. Stick to the repercussions you dole out or they will see mom as giving in once again. As soon as you have kicked out the first one, you will see the rest fall in line to your expectations like Roman soldiers marching off to battle.
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So quit.
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^Elegantly put.
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The only wrong part about your post is that it IS fair. YOU were too lazy to raise them correctly, now YOU pay the consequences. My mother is exactly like you, but I managed to grow up right anyways. I didn't want to be like your kids, buy my mom is hella lucky.
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GO COMMUNISM!!
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LOL Try walking in my shoes if you think I'm lazy. YOU try raising four busy boys. And a couple of things I didn't mention. One of my boys has mental retardation and another of them was born with a bad heart. Now I ask you...how would YOU do raising four boys with those circumstances??? Try my shoes on and then call me lazy. In and out of hospitals, open heart surgeries, not to mention all the tests and heart caths, the prescriptions. Then making almost daily trips to the school to solve one problem or another before the MR diagnosis was made. All the while spoiling and giving in to the wishes of all four boys....And do all that without any social program making it any easier. Try it on for size and then call me lazy. I bet your mother is thrilled you finally moved out. How old were you? 45? And for all that advice earlier up. Thank you. I totally agree and plan to make some heads roll. I might only be barely 5 feet tall, but my boys respect what I say and come to me for advice because they know I know my business. They will listen and they will act, but it won't be easy for any of us because of how much I love those guys.
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