I think my best friends Fiance.. Is a fucking SUPER HOTTIEE!!!

I intentionally wait to give my wife any bad news until she's already on the rag. Hey, she's already bitchy, and I'm not going to get laid anyway....

im sorry i left you, i did love you, i just couldnt handle you not being a good father to our son. i miss you and still cry myself to sleep.

I love my dog so much! Some days he's the ONLY REASON I get out of bed! He my TRUE BEST FRIEND!!!

I still love you, but you have to change if we're ever going to be together again. I've already changed, and if I change anymore I'll lose myself.