Ever since we broke up I have done everything you never let me do. No one treats me like you did, and I am happy to be me again. Also, I slept with your sister.

Youre My Best Friend. And I Love You More Than I could Ever Say. I Just Wish You Would See That Your Fiance Isnt The One For You And I Am.

I believe that 95% of Craigslist Rants & Raves is full of bitter, sad, lonely, old men. I secretly think that they possess an I.Q. below 70. :)

When you were on tour last year, I totally had sex with my neighbor on his back porch. We were both really stoned. It was awesome.

I've never been happier in my life than when I was deployed to Iraq. I wish I was deployed right now. I dont even want to see my family, I just want to go back.