When your parents are on vacation, two weeks is not enough time to grow the cat's fur back.

I noticed today that the shadows of everything on my desk looks like damn boners...

I beat myself up everyday over the fight we had. I never should have told you to kill yourself. After you did, I realized how strong words can be. I love you.

I was molested as a child. Several family members had their way with me. Now as an adult, when I go to the bathroom, I feel so dirty. WHY?

I can't stand my shallow, lying ass roommate. So when she went on her weekend getaway with her man I put japaleno juice in your anal lube. Still laughing!