When I stop by your desk to ask you about your weekend there is no need to actually say anything. I'm just there to look at your tits.

for years I thought I was possessed by the devil. You should have seen the look on my doctors face. Turns out it was sleep paralysis. ha ha ha I'm such an idiot

I drink because there are children crying in my head. I walk the floors looking for fires and children.

I have dreamed about sleeping with every boss I've worked for, especially my current employer.

I am intelligent, accomplished and have always worked hard. But I've had no work all year, and have fallen deep in debt. This makes me angry and helpless.