My freakishly modest wife and I have been married for 35 yrs, and I have never ever seen her naked. Now that she's gained over 100 lbs, I don't want to.

I am jealous that my brother has a wife and kids. I wish they were mine sometimes.

I have a fetish with Butter. I like to spread it all over my body.

I hate slow Drivers. I am so tempted to just slam into slow cars holding up traffic. Some people dont get it to move over.

The only thing I am good at is making money. I have no friends or life because I am always working or thinking about work.