first ask him what turns him on...ask him what area's he thinks you could use improvment.... ask him to show you and tell you what he wants wants during sex so it is more enjoyable for him! is he bored with you and vise versa? that is a question you have to ask yourself honestly! are you completely satisfied with your sex life or could it be better? is your sex life a reflection of other aspects of your marriage that may need work? if you really care and want to make a change for the better try getting some couples counseling, it's a much better option than divorce!
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your haert holds the answer, all the counseling in the world isn't going to change that! love should come naturaly, loving another with actions in everyday life and in love making even in hard times. if it's more work then that it's not love and you shouldn't of married.
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^um, if they lack communication (which they do) then having a professional teach them how to express themselves will help a lot...and your assumption that love is the only thing that matters in a marriage is bs! marriage is HARD WORK and it is not always easy, if you were married you would know that. telling someone that if their marriage gets difficult to divorce their spouse is really harsh especially when they obviously want to make it work!
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We have communicated. I realy think he wants variety which I am not able to give him. I will always feel the same even if I try to look diffrent you know. It's really hard. Yes being married is Hard Work!
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^ what does he mean by variety? like sexy outfits or different positions or sex toys? or does he mean bringing in a third person to your marriage? if you don't mind me asking do you enjoy your sex life? i have not been married nearly as long as you but my sex life fluctuates from really great to just okay all the time...i think that is normal. sometimes i think when guys get stuck in a rut they project... that does not mean he is bored with you, it means he is bored with himself and is unhappy. maybe you could treat him by laying him on the bed and giving him a scalp massage by candle light or a spontaneous blow job in the laundry room or put a love note in his lunch box with a sexy promise for later that nite...being creative has nothing to do with lingerie!
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2^ i wasent sugesting devorce thats only something they can decide and get detales befor you speak, i have been married and though we both wanted it to work we should have never gotten married! all the love in the world won't make it work!!!!!!! people come into your life and you have much love for them that doesn't mean you should get married, your not ment to be one with just anyone!!!!!!!! and us humans can't make that happen, only god can!!!!!!! i will never marry again unless i know it's gods plan!!!!!!!! everyone has their oppinion of that but if you listen closly to your heart you'll know. just as if you look back on past relationships you knew you wern't ment to be with those people but you stayed in them anyhow just as most of us do!!!!!!! we ignore that little voice inside and wonder why things don't go so smoothley!!!!!! when that one comes into your life and everything you do is what god says is love then you haved loved anything else is a selfish love which in gods eyes isn't love!!!!!!
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Did you read where I wrote it's hard to get all the details into this for you to form an acurate opinion about this. Actually It's really hard for me to say no to him because I feel threatened that he may go find it somewhere else, so yes I have done it when I didn't want to...I didn't just figure it out It is something I knew all along but am finally going to apply it. Calm down I am sure your realtionship is all roses right?
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^people take their own advise way too seriously, you know whats going on and you will be fine regardless of what anyone else says!
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My wife has told me she has no sexual fantasies. After 18 years, I believe her. Our sex life absolutely sux. She thinks that just having plain everyday sex is satisfying. I want to run away.
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i was very sexually inexperienced and much younger than my husband and he took his time and showed me all kinds of things i had never done before....he told me what he wanted which was a major turn on! it made me feel like we could explore and be playful and find out what we did and didnt like....
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Wow I am honeslty taken back by all the thoughtful comments on my post :) Just to update you guys (IDk why but..) The past two night we have had great sex, I won't say amazing but was better than most :) I did mean I thought he wanted variety as in diffrent women, thats what I mean by no matter what I do I will 'fel' the same. He says he doens't that he loves me, and I love him. Yes I was also bored with our sex life to be honest. A lot of it has to do with life in general sometimes your just tired and I felt like I couldn't say no to him so I did it anyways and it sucked. I found out that I need to be totally into it and if I am not then act like I am lolol. Sometimes it's hard though I think I need to stop being afraid to say no to him. It's hard to get to the bottom on here with only bits of info for you to establish an opinion. Anyway...I do however agree with the guy who said his sex life fluctuates between really great and okay...that is us for sure. we have gone throught this before but it just seems harder this time?! idk why. Anyway. Thanks all and good luck on your own life :D Let this next year be the best for us :D
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I just wanted to put a short comment on here!
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Being brief with your briefs now?
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^3 your just figuring this out? how old are you again? OF COURSE YOU HAVE TO BE IN TO HEART N SOUL OTHER WISE WHATS THE USE??
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honey you have to be true to you!!!!!!!!!if thats not your dream then......don't settle for less then what you want in a marriage. there is someone out there who has the same dream as you if it's not him. sounds like you two didn't do much comunicating befor marriage or at least not honest communication.
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^you sure jump to a lot of conclusions, kinda like your use of !!!!!!!!!!!!!.....and god is NOT responsible for making a relationship work, that's why he gave us free will, we all make our own decisions in life. just because you got a divorce because you were unhappy doesn't mean the op is in the same situation. some people take their vows seriously, walking away isn't the only choice! i think your advise of "listening to god" rather than getting some marriage counseling is very foolish.... i mean with that logic you would have never been married in the first place if that wasn't what god wanted so he made the mistake not you. did he also want you to get a divorce???
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Evidently the lines of communication are open between you or he would not have been able to tell you . That definietly is very important.I am confused when you say he wants variety and I hope you are not meaning a variety of different partners . That is just nasty and I do not blame you for not wanting that. But if you mean he wants a variety of sexual posistions and things with you then its important that you at least try to indulge him on occasion. But don't do anything that makes you feel bad inside . If he loves you then he should understand. But you have to find a common ground . People can say sex isn't the most important thing in a marriage and they are right it isn't but it is definitely at the top of the line . If you do not enjoy intimacy together then the bond becomes weak. Hang in there hon. And good luck.
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pussy stank much?
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What the hell?????? damn hun it just means that its SWINGER TIME!!!!! Girl you better get yours' too!!! Best believe he'll be getting his. This way you both get a little "unbored" with your sex life!!!!!
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Honey, Sex is deeper than just the physical act. It has many facets, but sexual fantasy plays a big role in nuturing a healthy sexual relationship. It doesn't all have to be "Making Love". That "Love" is also the sharing of personal and intimate sexual feelings with another.
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