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I do not accept your apology for making me this way. I will never accept your apology. Leave me alone, I am breaking your family cycle.

I do not accept your apology for making me this way. I will never accept your apology. Leave me alone, I am breaking your family cycle.

 
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Category: Secrets

 
What happened? Elaborate. Why are you angry?
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dont ever give up you can make it work out. some time.s it.s hard but it will work out let your hart tell what to do and no one but your hart . and GOD WHAT DO YOU THINK GOD WOULD SAY? GIVE HIM ONE ME TIME I HOPE YOU WILL TRY. GOD BLESS YOU AND ALL REV STEVE
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How come dad is not in the picture? You can tell it's an adult in the picture by the size of the silloutte...hummmm, coded.."I am breaking your family cycle"....hummmm, what does that mean? Gosh...maybe the shaddow knows??
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Sounds like alcoholism or some other addiction to me. And in that case, if the mom is still toxic, you're doing the best thing by cutting off the family ties.
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That silhouette was just what it is. There were multiple of them, but they never stayed in the picture (for reasons I am about to elaborate.) That is why I took it/him out. This is not about alcoholism, although it did play a minor factor. This is about abuse, mental and emotional being the key ones. I'd rather get punched in the mouth for most of my life than to bear the inner scaring I probably can't and will never erase. It's not to fix what has happened. Treat each other well, especially your off spring.
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^I would gladly hit you over the head with a baseball bat!
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I am in the same boat as you and totally understand. People who have loving parents or even parent for that matter don't understand because they've never had to. I was emotionally, mentally, physically and sexually abused I have deep scars within. But my kids are my life and I broke the cycle because it had to be done I wasn't going to let my kids feel any of that. Some days it's still hard to fall asleep but knowing I broke the cycle helps. Do what you have to do to get yourself in a good place mentally. Even if it's as silly as writing it down and then burning the paper. It will never go away but it will help you feel like you are in control.
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I'm sorry you had to go through what you did as a child. No child deserves to be abused. However, the only way to truly break the cycle is to forgive. Not because your mother deserves it, but because YOU deserve to be free. When people don't forgive, and are so focused on not becoming like their parents, that it's like looking in a mirror. The thing you focus most on is the thing you become. It sounds like you mother has asked for your forgiveness? Many abusers never apologize, so consider your situation unique, and forgive and let go. The freedom you experience will be worth it, and you are worth it. God bless.
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