Just this once. Next time use something else.
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I agree with that old adage. I have moved on to save my sanity, or so I keep telling myself. I have met a lot of new people since we split, (people that she would really like as well) and I have the time to do whatever I want (career-wise). I wrote a secret a while back "The quickest way to receive love is to give it; The fastest way to lose it, Is to hold too tightly; And the best way to keep it Is to give it wings." I can live my life, but my mind, body, and soul is yearning for Emily. I may end up moving even father away from her if I take this job in Charlotte, NC. Maybe I need the change because I generally don?t stay in one place very long. I don't want my future to be like the sad secrets I see here. I don?t want to be in a position where I am with someone else, but secretly wishing that person was Emily. It's not right to do that. Emily was 1 in a trillion. I do feel my sanity is slipping, but I think I can deal with it. FUCK IT! She is probably laughing her ass off at my misfortune; perhaps, I deserve it for being afraid to show her that I love her. I guess it goes back to the secret above. Been hurt so much in the past by the ladies that I have really never healed from it.
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One in particular, lost her sanity, and I never expected it. One day I went over to visit her, and I found her in her room cutting deep lacerations in wrists with a razorblade. Blood everywhere! *sigh* I picked her up and took into the bathroom to stop the bleeding and clean her up. I was able to wrap her wounds. When I left to call her parents, and when I came back to find her missing. She was in the other room holding her fathers pistol. I was so afraid, and remember her saying to me, ?If you don?t let me kill myself, I will kill you? I lunged and slammed her against the wall. I removed the gun from her hand. She and I both cried. I wanted to hit her so bad, but I could do nothing dismantle the weapon and sob. Her father and mother blamed me and forbade me to see her ever again. The next week her best friend called me and told me that she was in the hospital because she OD. I went to visit her, and her mother slapped me repeatedly and told me to leave. I went home and ate two bottles of pills. My cousin saved my life, but I was sent away for 6 weeks to a rehab center for depression. I realize now that I did nothing but love this girl, but she was just not well. I never saw her again. I imagine she is dead.
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She was the first girl i ever loved, and she ran me over like a frieght train. I dont why, but for some reason women use me! I am so generous and forgiving that I must appear to be some kind of doormat. I have had only four relationships in my life time, and all with women that are very sad and insecure. BEAUTIFUL but nightmares! every woman in between were just flings, or women that just wanted me to plow them. I am doing my best to identify why I fall in love with women that seem like they need saving.
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I don't have mommy issues. my mother has been my best friend, and was an outstanding parent. she gave the world to my brother, sister, and I. I don't know my father. I have seen him, and spent time with him, but I never really knew much about him growing up except that he was abbusive towards my mother, and used drugs and alcohol. He left us when I 4. about 25 years ago.
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^ whatever. what's done is done. I'm starting to think I dodged a bullet anyway. IT was too much of a pain in the ass anyway by always having to walk on pins and needles for someone so insecure and unfamiliar with real love, empathy and forgiveness.
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^ last time we kissed, eh? I dont even recall the last time we kissed, but it may have been. I know that they were both married at the time, so does that make you a home wrecker? Just stop secret stalking me you hateful f***ers.
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^ still at it? you have no idea about my life you twit!
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Now climb into a deep hole and disappear and make us all happy!
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((((zane))))
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Those walls will keep you a very lonely, sad person. If feel sorry for you Zane...
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Litten up guy, Eat some Pussy Feel Better.
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It's kinda hard to look disturbed when you're sitting in the front seat of your parent's Civic. Although, you aren't wearing your seatbelt.....badass!
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it was my halloween costume! I was a vampire hunter. I had bought a cheap ass bottle of horrible smelling perfume (labeled as holy water) and sprayed it on vampires, witches, and zombies at the parties i went to. I did it without them knowing. the stuff smelled so bad it was hard not to ROFL! they never knew it was me. that is my new car, and its not a civic, its a mazda. no my mommy didnt make my costume. The shoulder pauldron was made by a friend. DEF Leppard before my time?!?! dude I am 30 years old! HALLOWEEN!!!!
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wisdom from the mouths of babes, no?
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Thank God this secret is buried deep, where it belongs.
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he's stilla fag
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^dear beloved stalkers: ^ IT never fails. There you are. Sigh* what do you want? Why do you keep at this?Let?s friends. I am willing to make a deal, and I would like to hear your terms? I have this feeling that you are thinking that you getting under my skin, and you are right. You are. I was trying to get attention, but not in the way you think. I wasn?t saying, hey! Look at me. I have posted plenty of real secrets, so you cant say that I just do this for attention. ?. Let?s just end this. I want to just go ahead and affirm that ? I do not know you, and really, you do not know me. I came to this site because I wanted to get some things off my chest, and I wanted to pretend to be something I am not. Really I am just an ordinary guy. I work very hard, and I keep to myself. I have an ordinary life with good friends and a wonderful family.
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. I am extremely heterosexual, I have gay friends (the ones that are not openly disgusting) and when you say those very crass things, it offends me. I am not an attention whore, but sometimes I want to be. I mean ? on a day-to-day basis, I am just regular guy, but here I don?t have to be just a regular guy. I can be a sinner or a saint; A lover of a fighter; An angel or a devil Over the last few weeks of you and I going back and forth, I have come to realize that I don?t belong here. I am missing out on real life, and the chance to make a fresh start since Emily and I split. I really thought she was lurking around halfpad.com, and for a hot minute, I thought she was you, or that you were one of her little cronies. I know you think I am paranoid, but she was always spying on me.
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She lurked my social media to see if I was talking to other girls, and she went into my old emails and messages to find letters that I wrote other women that I dated eons before she and I were together. She actually dubbed herself a stalker with a smile. I thought it was cute and innocent at first, but then it became destructive, controlling and abusive. She would not let me do anything without checking in with her. I felt like I couldn?t be myself with her. I couldn?t be creative, and she would b**** me out when I wanted me time, dump, and belittle me. She always said I was a wuss, but I loved her, and thought she was going to get better. There were times that I wanted to strangle her because she was so suffocating. I lost a huge chunk of my self-respect while dating her. I never got any attention, so maybe your right. Maybe I do have shit for brains, but what the hell am I supposed to do about it. I have never taken anybody?s crap until I fell for her.
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After we split up, all I wanted to do was to piss her. Even the decline of our relationship consisted of me being a complete jerk to her, by making feel and look stupid. I was seeking the ultimate revenge and wanted to make see what sort of person she was to me, by becoming just like her. I started stalking her online, calling her and bugging her.:D I would say and write her very hateful things (sort of like the ones that we pass back and forth) In the process of doing this, I started to see the side effects of being a dick. I was obsessed with getting a reaction out of her, yet in the back of my mind and heart, I wanted nothing to do with her. But my thirst for revenge could not be quenched, and my anger could not be cooled. Our volatile end was a new beginning to stand up to her, and call her out on her shortcomings. Just as you are doing with me, I suppose. I loved and hated her. I wanted to make love to her, but I also wanted f*** her angrily. We drove each crazy, and when she finally decided to date someone new, I was so f***ing relived!
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A lot of people say that I should have shown some resraint and self respect to just walk away from her, but I wanted REVENGE. I wanted to become so completely vile and hateful that maybe she would learn a lesson. I was never physically abusive to her simply because she would not learn from that. I wanted to get inside her head, just like you are doing to me now. (end for now) friends?
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i am nearing 30, but I feel like i have lived much more than I have. even my old man warned me that turning 30 was rough. I am trying to get things rolling, for the time I do meet someone special.
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4^ WITH all that reinforcing, You may end up building walls like said secert. I just don't always have the time to continually proof these things. How about you let me worry about my spiritual center, and spend that time learning how to you a comma. and Colon. your sentence structure and meter BLOW! What gives you a RIght to point fingers. tisk tisk. HOw can you be so spiritually centered with all of that resentment, and misdirected judgement? BORING!!! NEXT!!!
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^yet you still click <3Favorite. . I'm touched, really!
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^ dont make me give you a concussion with it. ;Z
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^ wow you guys are complete idiots. you suck at sucking. your TMJ?
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2^ leave me alone then. stop all of this shit. I dont care whos balls you suck on, ok? That sort of stuff doesnt bother me. I care more about you as a friend.
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3^ OH. i almost forgot! does his load taste like his brother's load? ROFL
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2^ IS'NT THE CORRECT SPELLING -A.D.V.I.C.E-? the word advise is the act of giving advice, is it not? sounds like he is over it :D
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Zane-- your precious and i still love you!
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wow 69 comments...still here being pathetic i see. Did you post the vampire looking pic stating that was you? just curious
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2^ 100 years my ass. ! life is what you choose to do with it, and I have always believed that I should learn something new with each day that I have been given. Our beautiful minds are capable of living in a dimension outside of time, dear friend, time only matters when you choose to put it in the equation.
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3^ the fact remains, wise guy! you can claim you know me all you want, but you really don't know a damn thing about me -zane. so take your opinions, and throw them up you into your own life. I came to terms with what I am as a man, when I nearly died. If you ever show your face around me, and grace me with those words, You will be faced with a force you never thought possible. people like you! people always making assumptions about who I AM when you are provided with 010100100100100101.! I have to define that , and I PROVIDE you with as much information as I want you to know! While you colapse as a person in my REALITY, you must soon face that you are being just fed nothing but fiction. If you were really smart enough, you would see, not only, the error in your grammer and spelling, but the errors in which you judge me. I hope that you find success where ever you go. Can I also ask you for the same ability to forget?
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This WHOLE post CAME ABOUT because of my desire to put a picture of my halloween costume up! I worked pretty hard on it, and so did the person that provides me the some of the original materials. I was Simon Belmont. For f*** sake! I brought up moats of fire and iron gates and succubi because "it was a horrible night to have a curse" why wont you guys leave me the f*** alone if you dont like me? If i cant escape you at least let your presense be known. I dont think it is cool at all that you put me under such scrutiny when all i wanted to do was post a f***ing secret. FOR FUCK SAKE!!!! I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE OUT THERE THAT WANTS TO KEEPS THIER HEART AWAY FROM JUST ANY GHOUL! I AM A DECENT GUY.
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Zane loves to suck the bus.
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wow you are still here posting comments to yourself?? LOl Wow really WOW!
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^ WOW. You really have an extensive vocabulary to express sarcasm amazement.YEAH! That?s how I roll. If you don't like it, you don?t have to keep checking up on this post. You must be addicted like the other jealous haters. You people are obsessed with my ranting; yet I am the one labeled as the drama queen? What ever happened to free speech? Sure you can judge all you want, but in the end you just confine yourself to a very boring life. -In response to the person assuming Emily to be a slut to want to date me, I say this. I cannot confirm or deny that.
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I am sorry Emily hurt you. She shouldn't have done that.
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Hi Zane - Hope you are having a good day!
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^ get to know me before making judgments that you cant back up with real proof, or stay silent. I dont give advice unless I have an inkling of experience to back up what i say! you have no grounds to confront me about being self righteous. when I advise someone it is usually because I BEEN THERE/DONE THAT/LIved a similar experience. Our happiness IS a gimme, and if you just believed in yourself, you would seee that all you need to Do is ask for it to be revealed to you. I deal with my issues ALONE, but We are not alone in this world. If you think that other people do not have an tremendous impact, then you need to seek enlightment. Here is a taste! Life, is not what you see, but what you've projected. It's not what you've felt, but what you've decided. It's not what you've experienced, but how you've remembered it. It's not what you've forged, but what you've allowed. And it's not who's appeared, but who you've summoned. YOU ARE VERY ARROGANT TO THINK THAT YOU ARE EVEN ENTITLED TO HAVE AN OPINION ABOUT WHAT I MAY OR MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT LOVE.
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I love you if you wear that costume and f*** me like a savage beast and then bite me till I bleed LMAO j/k
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^ white trash!
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For all of you guys that say you love me. please just run! I am not made for loving. I was made to destroy it!
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Still Loving you zane!
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Ok I hated all the zane posts but you are kinda cute in a creepy way. I hope you do decide to move and start fresh. I wish I could. It is easier to remember that everything isn't out to get you when there aren't so many reminders...
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Wow, this ones nuts!
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well stab me then, you chain of dogshit! you wish you had the coursge! I will destroy you and not think twice about it. Please please please just give me a reason to f*** you up! you stalking piece of crap. whats the matter? your girl having second thoughts? please come on up here to give me a reason to fight!
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I have been dreaming about making your fat rebounding ass into an example!!!! have fun nailing the love of my life. I hope you dont mind me sending your girlfriend tickets to visit paris. f***ing slopp, come on man. i've been waiting to fight you, but are you sure you want this? do you want to look like an idiot! why dont you jackoffs get a life?
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When you walk through a stormHold your head up highAnd don't be afraid of the dark.At the end of a stormIs a golden skyAnd the sweet, silver song of a lark.Walk on, through the wind,Walk on, through the rain,Though your dreams be tossed and blown.Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart,And you'll never walk alone,You'll never walk alone.
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I posted this f***ing secret because i know you dickwads are watching. come on! i wait for the chance to put dogshit on the ground where it belongs. why the f*** would i put my picture here if i didnt know that you losers were watching? COME ON! PLEASE JUST GIVE ME THE CHANCE TO SLAM YOU BOTH INTO THE NOTHINGNESS THAT YOU REALLY ARE> I AM SITTING HERE WAITING AFTER 3 JOBS JUST TO MAKE AN EXAMPLE OUT OF YOU. YOU DOGSHIT! SUCKS THAT YOUR WIFE FUCKED AROUND ON YOU.
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2^ f*** off you douchebag. Your words suck as much as your ex wife sucks strange dick! I have seen the lyrics you think are so badass. youre a f***ing redneck and everything you want to accomplish is a joke! How does your brother's dick taste!?! grow a pair. no?!?
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all this violence!!!! Zane, I still love you.
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The reason I said you need attention is for the mere fact that you post your own picture?!! Isnt that asking for it? Yes no? Your not killing shit btw, just feeling sorry for yourself really.
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I still love you Zane! Nuts that are the hardest are always the sweetest.
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^That was unnecessary!
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are you the one posting paragraphs?? To your own secret? LOl... what an attention whore....lol This is entertaining watching you be pathetic
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Someone please get this zane pussy off the internet.
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Prety tough riding in your moms minivan, eh?
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All that guarding makes for a cold and lonely heart.
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^ i dont think so. I just dont give it out like to just anyone.
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^What happened to the nice, fun Zaney Zane that was on here a couple of weeks ago? Are you depressed? You seem dark and bitter now.
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This guy needs massive attention....remeber that other post about him being emo or whatever all he got was sympathy. I don't like beggers sorry. Your gay so deal with it, get laid already sheesh.
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2^ yes maybe I am to a degree. I just work all the time, and I miss my ex girlfriend ( ALOT ) i dont need attention. I'm just here killing time. sorry if i am killing yours.
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^Your not killing anyone's time. You have as much right to be here as anyone else...it is a public website. I understand missing someone, and being sorry that a relationship is over. It would do you some good to try and get out and meet new people. You can't replace her, but you do have to move on for your own sanity. As the old cliche' goes...If you love something, set it free, if it comes back, then it is yours, if not then it never was. Corny but there is truth to it. Take care Zane...
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