Living together is one of the fastest ways to find out that you're not supposed to be with who you're with, or how well it will work. I moved in with my girlfriend only a few months after starting out. We're getting married next month. I still wish she'd fold my f***ing clothes...but life goes on.
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You are playing house. Why buy the cow...if the milk is free.
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85% of marriages that start off with the couple living together end in divorce. Spend a year dating, avoiding premarital sex, and getting to know the future inlaws (crucial). Pray together, and talk a lot about goals, children, places you like to visit, and your parents. Make sure your bf/gf had a good relationship with their parent of the opposite sex (also crucial).
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^^^ I'd LOVE to know where you got that statistic. I actually DO know. YOU MADE IT UP! From what I have read, statistic show that couples figure out very quickly how compatable they are by living together. So you can take all that "dating, pre-marital sex, and praying" shit to your church. Maybe they'll listen to it. But quit trying to convert everyone on the internet. Go beat your bible somewhere else.
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I'm the first comment (not the OP) and I'm insulted by what 2 up wrote. You're basically telling me I have a 15% chance of making it in my upcoming marriage. I think you're full of it. I think you failed in your marriage so you consider yourself to be some kind of expert because you couldn't hack it so you found your answers in God. Well...good for you. Like the above poster says...go somehwere else with that shit. Just because you're a failure doesn't mean you have to bring everyone else down.
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Statistics can be twisted to support any view. I want back ground info!!
Example: "A Child is Killed by a Handgun Everyday in the US"
That is a true statistic IF the year is 1976 and a 'child' is someone under 25 years old. FACTS only please.
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okay i lived with my boyfriend 25 years ago, after only *dating* for 5 months. We will be married 25 years come JUNE 21st.)
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I don't think there are any sociological facts it's a study not a science you f***ing retard.
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f*** statistic...When you first live together it does feel like playing house, stick in there that feeling will wear off. Then you will soon feel resentment and frustration...lol Good luck in your life together, because no matter what anyone says about statistics or their own experiences, the one thing that is for sure is that relationships take work. You will have to let a lot of things go under the bridge if you want it to last.
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i am poster three up from HERE. and i MUST agree a whole WHOLE lot with the ^^^^1 up from HERE. YOU do have to let allot go, and you DO have to WORK at it ALL THE TIME!!!
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(OP) I just don't like the idea of being dependent right now while I'm out of a job. I feel like I'm doing all of the chores, cooking, and whatnot like "a woman should." I didn't know coming into this that I would practically be a maid and that his idea of cohabitation would be so "traditional." That's not who I am at all. I feel like now he wants to pop out kids and I'm not even ready. I just don't want a "traditional" life I guess and hope that's not what he's trying to force on me.
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I lived with my bf 3 months out of high school. Big mistake. Couldnt focus on college like I should of. Fought daily, partied too much, messed on each other, had no respect for each other. I then said after 2 and 1/2 years of living like this, that we either needed to go our separate ways or get married. We got married and the fighting stopped. We slowed way down on drinking and showed each more respect. Stayed married for 20 years but, because we were too young in the beginning I looked for love else where, after the 20 years thinking we just didnt have what I needed...Its like my needs changed. What he did for me when I was 18 just wasnt what I needed at 22 and 1/2 yrs later. He is still in love. Me I only care for him as my childrens father and as a friend. But Im stuck.
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You need to talk to him like you have here. Set him straight on what YOU want from marriage.
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Women are chumps to live with men before they are married! All the pill and cohabitation mean is that women have become "public property", and are treated accordingly. Men will not get with the program and be good providers and good fathers as long as they know there is another woman around the bend with whom they can "flop." This is the truth.(M66, three daughters)
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There is no "one size fits all" when it comes to living together and marriage. Everyone comes with different baggage, different views, different expectations that how could one way possibly work for everyone and be the "right" way? I am a 50 year old strong, independant woman living with an equally strong, independant man. We've been living together for 7 years now and are committed to each other for as long as we each remain true to our own selves as well as to each other. Yes, our relationship is work, but it's work that I love. Might we get married? Possibly....but it will only be if and when we both feel we want to be married and NEVER because society or others say we should.
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