I think having your child pass before you is the hardest thing in the whole world. No matter how old they are it must be awful...I'm sorry you have to be the one to deliver such news.
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I agree with the above poster. Thank you for stepping up to the plate to do such a thankless job.
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Their faces stay with you, burned into your memory. You're not yourself for days afterward. No appetite, can't sleep, can't communicate with your spouse. You just keep thinking about the family and their horrific and sudden loss. You can't learn that type of coping skill, just can't.
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You do for a living what allot of people can't. Hold your head high.
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Having worked the highway for 20 years, the MAJORITY of deaths in car crashes are attributed to the person's own negligence; lack of a seat belt, DWI, speeding or recklessness. We live and die by our decisions. Many of these people made a conscious decision which ended their life. When you look at it that way, it's much easier to accept.
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Two posters above... agree.
Above poster-- wow! You are a dark, dark individual, but I do understand seeing all that you have might have attributed to that. I have little sympathy for people who do those things, but it's little consolation for the loved ones left behind, and I think that's what the post was talking about. GB
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If I died my husband would be a widower, if he died I would be a widow. If we both died our children would be orphans. but there is no word to call us when our son died. there is no word powerful enough
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contributed*
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To the above post..wow..I will wear my seat belt from now on. I just got a ticket and still don't. After reading what you just said, I will. I have a little boy who needs me!!
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To the OP, people like you make the news much less clinical and have an empathy that radiates. For this you truly are an angel with a soul. People like "They-did-it-to-themselves" make it feel like a deserved punishment to a family. You caused me to wish serious harm on you, don't blame me when it happens...
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I've made those 4:00AM notifications. Carefully stepping over toys and bikes in the driveway. We're given a limited amount of training for such notifications, but it's of little help. You try to grab a clergyman (any denomination), and always have two guys in case the bereaved attacks you, which has happened. They don't mean any harm, they are simply reacting instinctively to the message that's been delivered. 90% of the nighttime notifications are alcohol-related MVA's. -20 years in the PD.
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(CONT'D) ...For me, suicides are the most heartless, selfish act that one can commit. For every fatal car wreck there are 3 times the number of suicides. The unanswered questions, the blame, and family quarrels that follow often destroy what's left of the family. I've read a number of notes left behind. Some are powerfully eloquent and others are harsh and filled with rage. Either way, the family usually sees them in the end.
IF you're contemplating it, call someone, anyone...
(sorry if a little off topic, but this site brings forth a sense of renewal and release of tension).
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I have two comments... I could never be the one on the outside of the door with the horrific news, that is a job for someone incredibly strong. And I hope I am NEVER the one inside the door, I would never want to cope with the loss of my son who is my whole world.
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You are almost like an angel on earth of sorts... tough job... god bless you
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After 7 years death doesn't get any easier. EMS has jaded my view on society. I know what you are going through.
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My dad retired from the police department with 26 years. He delivered the horrible news to too many families including his partners widow. It never got easier especially after losing my sister. He related to the people more and had more emotional involvement. In what the highway man was saying~ if you can put reason behind it, it makes it easier to take. When you're dealing with the scum of the earth everyday, murder, rape, and senseless death you have to be able to keep emotion limited otherwise you will go crazy. You won't be able to handle the job and you won't be able to be strong for those families that need you.
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