Talk to a counselor....check the yellow pages in your local phonebook.
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Get another boyfriend. If its a choice between you or the kids it will be the kids.
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Do not Marry this man!!!!! I married a man with 2 kids that I love and it has been the hardest most stressful 13 years of my life!!! As a step-parent you have all of the responsibility (when they are with you) and NONE of the Authority!!!!!! Counseling will not help, been there. It is a HUGE mistake to continue any further - do not rationalize that this will get better IT WILL NOT!!
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too bad you need to leave him. maybe if you weren't so selfish you could stay with him and be happy. but once again, thats too bad
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leave him.
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You don't deserve him
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Dover has been where she is. My husband spent our wedding night with his spoiled 13 year old son, because he was so up set that his father married me. His 3 kids came before me in everything. It was always them on one side and my little girl and me on the other. Nine months of hell. I knew if he had really loved me, we could have been a family. That's what I ment by, "Test of Love". She needs to know where she stands. Children living with a single parent need a family. Parents who are unstable use their kids for support and teach their children to do the same. Post above me is an example of what can happen. Dover
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You leave. Those kids will always be there and if you can't stand them you have to move on. Too many families have been torn apart because of this so be the bigger person and go.
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If you can't deal with the kids, either get some counseling or get out. The kids deserve better.
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I was married to a guy for 13 years and treated his daughter the same as I treated my son. She hated me until she turned 18 and then she apologized for being so mean. I almost fainted. I didn't hold it against her, but all those years sure were hard. I would not have done them over.
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steph is this u??
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Are you from Satsuma, Florida?
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it sucks...
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I'm in same boat,with a woman i love dearly who has 3 girls, can't live with her, wish i met her before she had kids. we have great time when it's just the two of us.. don't waste your life like i am.....
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Hey, Keep it simple, make your statement and give it time. You'll make the right decision. Now, forget about all these post and think for yourself. Dover
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I'm in a similar relationship with a woman with two boys. It's driving me crazy! I had surgery on my shoulder in December and can't work much less take care of my basic daily needs or I'd be outta' here! I love her but it's killing me, literally. As soon as I'm healed I'll be gone.
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My "dad" married my real mom when I was 19. She passed away in 2007 and he is still my "real dad" in my mind and heart although I am 33 now. If you can make your own unique relationship, they are yours too. If you constantly feel like you aren't important, they will adopt the same attitude. Kids want and need love and discipline in their lives and if you can hold your own and have the support of your partner, it's golden.
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do ur bf a fav and end the relationship....
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if you don't like them now, you probably wont like them later, and kids pick up on those vibes and will return your sentiments tenfold. If you cant take his baggage, get out while there is still time. You'll find someone else.
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If he is willing to give you control over them and stands by you, no matter what, there is a chance. But you will have to be willing to put your life into raising these kids. How involved is the mother? How old are the kids? This is a true test of love, on both your parts. Dover
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To the poster of the post 4 above this one...your words are helping me deal with the exact same situation that the OP is in. It has been 14 years for me, the kids are now 19 and total losers. Im so disapointed that I wasted my life on them and am filled with anger and bitterness towards them AND their dad. I wish I had your strength...
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If they are almost grown then it would be worth it to hold on. I had to "eat shit" for four years but now I have the woman I love all to myself.
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This is the OP...there is much for me to think about here. I am absorbing all responses and trying to make the best decision for my future and theirs. Thank you all for your input, negative and positive.
To the post by Dover and the one above Dover, and the two above this post...your thoughts touch me and I will sort through and do what is best, weather I stay or go. Thank you again.
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