I don't think there is an easy way with that. No matter the adjectives or setting, you choose, they will hear your gay. Perhaps if you enlist in a mediator or a therapist to be there to help with the many emotions your family will feel. You should be happy though.
I am a female and not gay.
You must be living in a quiet little hell.
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I don't think there is an easy way with that. No matter the adjectives or setting, you choose, they will hear your gay. Perhaps if you enlist in a mediator or a therapist to be there to help with the many emotions your family will feel.
You should be happy though.
You must be living in a quiet little hell.
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Your wife may already know.
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Did you know this before you got married?
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I don't think there is an easy way to tell her. And unfortunately, she probably already knows - you don't fall deeply into a relationship without getting to learn someone's habits and style. This is a mighty personal decision with consequences you have probably already thought about - and some you probably haven't thought about.
No sound advice here - been there (my wife and I were married 12 years - and she knew the last 4 of our marriage) and like one poster said it was a quiet hell. If it gets to the point of suicidal (I did), you do better for the people you are with to get it out - let the chips fall where they may and take care of them the best you can when the dust settles. Gay or not - you are more valuable to them alive than dead.
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My dad did this. It is hell. It was hell on our whole family, my mom, my sister and me...for sometime. If you do it, you have to be ready for it to get worse before it gets better. Right now, you are in life's jail. With that being said...Life being who you are, not putting yourself in a box all the time, not having to check your emotions, not always thinking about your actions, not butching it up just for a show is far better than being the fake you. I did this for 26 years. My life was hell. I was not married though. I did want to kill myself and had a plan to, but was too chicken to do it. It might help if you can come out to a trusted friend, someone you know that will understand. You need to feel how it feels to come out. It will lift a ton of bricks off you. Then build a few friends that you can lean on when you come out to your family. IT WILL NOT BE EASY! But for me, Life Out is waaaaaaayyyyy better than fake life.
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Ok so you had an affair with a guy. The sex was good so you decided your gay now? After 26 yrs of marriage and kids? Give me a break. You need to get your head screwed on straight. Or you will die a lonely old fag (but hey not really).
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Your thoughts are not evil. You are not crazy.
Society tells you that being gay is bad, is wrong, is sin and many others things that hurt. No wonder gay boys grow up being afraid of who they really are, end up marrying a woman and having children, just to keep up appearances. But deep down they are not that person at all.
Please seek help & support. Don't do this alone.
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This seems to be happening alot lately.
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i feel for you. i am in the same boat. but will stay locked in that closet 4 ever
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Now there is no longer any doubt for either of us. She asked and I was incapable of continuing to lie. She is devastated. I am mourning the loss of my marriage this morning. She does not think that she can live this lie. The kids don't know yet and I'm not sure that I'm ready to be out. What comes next? I don't know what to do.
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Most of the decision making on this is now done. We will be getting a divorce as soon as we can figure out the finances and when we can both afford a lawyer. Probably over the next 12 to 18 months. We are both sensitive to each other's feelings in this, and neither one of us wants to hurt the other any further.
For those of you who gave sensitive and caring advice, thank you.
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Throw on some assless chaps and indian head-dress and pop the village people in the CD player - they'll figure it out
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You are not gay. This is a choice & you do not have to go down that path. Why ruin your family? Over what? Sin? All sin is equal in God's eyes...why do this? Put these evil thoughts out of your mind and be a man. Preserve your family & your vows you made to your wife. If you love them, you will not put them through such craziness.
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There's a good chance that deep down they already know.
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More than likely they do already know but just in case they dont be sure and do as some has said and build some friends that do know and will support u when u come out. My ex did know all along as a fact her best friend told her before we even got married and while married i told her i had desires but still when i came out she acted totally surprised and very vendictive. The fact is i didnt leave to be with a man i left because of an unhappy relationship. But when thinking back my earliest instinct of gay was from 8years old i was born this way and it was not a choice i chose to be with a woman i was born to be with man and for the other religous comments it is not for u to judge only god is the true judge so by judging u are being sinfull yourself god loves everyone or he would not create us the way we are. But please be sure and have support it is very lonely and hard if not thankfully my sister had always known deep down and was there for me. but u cant live until u have lived the way your heart leads you right now u just exist.
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What you do behind closed doors does not define who you are. At some point in your life you have to live it for yourself it took me until I was 36 my 2 chrildren still love me for the farther I am to them. I maybe gay but I will always be there dad and they know this. Good luck.
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You'd be surprised, they probably already suspect. But you need to be true to yourself. It's a new world and if you raised them right they'll come around.
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After 26 years of marriage, why the sudden need to tell her, if she doesn't already know? Are you happy together and you are able act outside of your marriage? I see no need to destroy a union that has flourished for this long unless there are mitigating circumstances. LOL I am NOT a lawyer.
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tell them that you're gay.
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