don't use him as a confidence bridge while you're out scouting around for someone to get your kicks with.
if you can't do it alone it'll never be right or truly yours.
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From OP: The person who I was willing to 'risk' it for has only been in my life a short time, while the person I loved instantly had seemed to come around. However, I did not follow through with the risk. I left work. Went home to the one who grew on me. He's been wonderful from the start, committed from the start. While negotiating in my mind, it wasn't ultimately worth the risk.
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We all can't have our cake and eat it too.Don't be selfish and hold up someone else's life.Love the one you want and let the other guy go!
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You're a user - AND YOU KNOW IT! To be fair, which of us can honestly say we have never been in a similar situation? Who can say they've never been with someone, and secretly longed for another? All the same, if your sole reason for being with your man is to get close to another, then you are pretty scummy. But without the full facts, lets not judge you too hastily.
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I understand just how you feel. I fell for this guy within 10min of talking to him on the phone not even knowing what he looked like (a friend set us up). its been 8 years and 3 kids with my hubby and I just can't feel the same........trust me I've tried.
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From OP: Truthfully, I'm not a user. I did not use the man who I am with to get close to the one I'd previously fallen for. I wrote the secret at the start of an 8 hour shift. At the end of the shift, I went home to the one who grew on me. The reason it all came about is because the one I'd longed for came out and broke out the L-word on me. He wanted to meet with me that evening to talk about it. Before I left work, I'd decided that the one I am with now never played games or made me wait and has proven himself far better. I am happy with him, I support myself and we live in the house that I own. It's the "what-if" mindset though. I didn't risk it, life is good now. Overall, I determined that it was not worth the risk. Furthermore, I asked the one I'd previously fallen for to discontinue communication. Sometimes it just really helps to read your thoughts, not just think them. If that makes any sense.
I don't need either one for confidence, I've been alone before and I am a very independent person, even while in a partnership. *shrug* It's interesting to watch the responses, and I expected much harsher response when I saw the admin post the secret, truly.
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