ditto
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It's hard to carry on believing this for too long. Forgive yourself, forget the past and take steps to be happy... you are too much inside your own mind... you need some perspective... fresh perspective is the answer everytime. What's inside your mind is not reality...don't you know that?
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take a chance and talk to someone about it or go see a therapist. suffering alone doesn't make you heroic, it makes you a coward. take that chance to be happy. it'll be the bravest thing you'll ever do. take it from a popular someone who was in the same desperate and lonely situation without anyone knowing. the people i was fooling weren't the ones around me, it was myself.
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I think you're brave. I am always told that I must have a very happy life because I'm always happy and upbeat.Only my closest friends know that I've never felt more lonely in my life and I'm putting on a good show.
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Loneliness spared is loneliness not shared, if you want to share and be shared with contact daddy (at) 2 serve (dot) info I'm certain that you can figure out the rest. I understand and really empathize with you in your loneliness, I've been that way for a long time as well.
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Give the people in your life a chance to know and care about you.
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XOXO
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lonliness = identity (refining)
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