Not shame on you, but good for you! Your alcoholism may have cost you everything and you may have lost the people you love, but now you have the opportunity for a fresh start. You can build new, healthy relationships wher trust is fostered and you will feel fulfilled. Keep up the good work. And to those bashing on AA: you don't know what you're talking about. They have a great message and a great purpose, and many people have successfully been freed from their addiction through attending meetings and developing a support system. It is statistically sound, evidenced based, and one of the most successful programs out there, which is why the often mandate people who've received DUI's to attend.
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I think you should be commended for not drinking! 5 years is a long time! That is great.I do not know why you have lost everything. It cannot be because you quit drinking.Good luck to you.
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Not drinking for five years is not an easy feat. You have accomplished something great. I do hope your other troubles will work out. Wishing you the best.
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Usually drinking drives loved ones away. What happened there?
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What an accomplishment of not drinking.Perhaps on New Years Day, make a fresh start and begin making small steps towards what you and who you want to be with in this new life.If you stopped the drinking, you are strong. Now it's time to be strong and get your energies flowing in a good direction with a good attitude. That will pull people towards you. If you need to make ammends to people, go away and do so. This could be part of the problem.
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Actually, my friend, chances are you're going through what some of my friends have gone through after they've stop drinking. You go through a transition in life and find out who your friends really are/are not. Give it time and you'll find yourself in a much better place and happier. It can take days or even years, but hang in there.
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Or it could be that drinking was never the problem and the problem was you were and are a self absorbed escape artist. You don't get props for sobriety. Most people do it all their lives and it is a given. You don't get a pat on the back for not destroying lives. You get a pat on the back only when you step out of yourself long enough to consider and care for others besides yourself. So what is the new escape mechanism? Gambling? So you stopped drinking - so what? How about start facing yourself and really healing?
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She was not sorry, I am. I did not cultivate it.. that is your choice to stay that way. I choose not to drink, and I am sorry for what I did. I have to live tho, you want all of us who made mistakes to slit our wrists in shame and die? I think not. I chose to make amends and help others not to do what I did. I have to forgive to survive, you my friend would have me grovel in shame and succumb and not give me the right to make life good again. You seem not worth my time now. Prayers to you again.
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No it's not about groveling or slitting your wrists. It is about actions and not words. Oh you are sorry? Really? Then why do you keep doing the same selfish shit you have always done?
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I have nothing to prove to you, you have no right to judge me or my actions. You have your own evil to contend with. Look in your own back yard jerk. Clean up your own wreckage.
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Good for you for not drinking.. hang in there, drinking only compounds the problems, the promises will happen.
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If you started drinking again, do you really think you would get all these things back? Often sobriety is it's own reward, as it has been for me.
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Good God.. AA Haters Anonymous for you dude. Get over it!! If they are sober because of AA, good for them. If not, so what!! Get a life !
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^You have either never had to live with a drunk or you are one. You try getting getting over having someone in your life who was drunk and high through most of it causing drama daily only to get sober and have them STILL be completely self absorbed and full of drama. It's total bullshit that you tell me to get over it. What we all need to get over is the idea that drunks are helpless victims of a disease when in reality they are patholigically selfish. FU!
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My mother was a drunk, she had a mental illness that she medicated, self absorbed and abusive. You know what, I prayed for her and I forgave her, compassion is easier than hate. She truly had a disease, it is prevalent 2 of us 4 kids. It is easier to forgive than carry that hate you have and pour it all over the rest of us. Like I said, process your hate and let it go, I feel sorry for you and I will pray for you, I learned that in those horrible AA meetings too.
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It's not a disease, you are folling yourself because the reality is too painful. And you haven't really processed and forgiven unless you have faced that reality - you just told yourself a lie so that you would not feel the pain. And THAT is what perpetuates the drunk and the selfishness - escapism. Compassion is something you have to have for yourself too and if you allow a drunk to abuse you again and again while lying to yourself and saying they can't help it then you are being hateful and brutal to yourself. Pray all you want but be real and honest and don't escape the truth. This isn't hate at all - it's being real and honest and dealing with the extreme pain of it.
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She is dead, she paid the ultimate price for it.. Your bitterness is amazing, again sorry.
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I know and she didn't pay for shit. As for my bitterness - you and her cultivated it and neither of you were ever really sorry for the pain you caused - only sorry for being confronted with it. What else is amazing is that even after her death you are still in denial and still avoiding any responsibility and instead crying about my bitterness. Amazing indeed.
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AA saved my life .. I don't care what you AA trolls think. What works for one may not work for another. Live and let Live. AA is not promoted, AA is not advertised. It is a program that is quietly there if you want it, and if you don't want it, then quietly go away and find another method that will work for you. Sincerely wishing you the best of luck in finding what will work to get your life back on track.
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AA is not statiscally sound and few if any have been freed from their addiction because AA (and complete narcisism) becomes the new addiction and yes I do know because I have known dozens of drunks and people in "the program". They may not be drinking alcohol anymore but they are sure drinking a shitload of kool-aid. if you know what I mean, And YES it IS promtoted and people get sent to this cult by the courts! Read about the real life of Bill W sometime and then come back and tell me he wasn't a charlatan cult leader as well as a selfish manipulative drunk. So your life was saved... you haven't healed though.
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Here are some AA statistics for you. It looks like it has a 5% success rate for just one year of sobriety (and that is including all of those drunks who lied about really being sober)http://orange-papers.org/orange-letters62.html#coinsTime to get real here. Alcoholism is not a disease and AA is not the cure. Alcoholism is a selfish escape artist choice and AA is the cult that validates BS.
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It took me 3 treatments and 3 other hospital stays to get sober. Found out I had no friends. Learned to live without friends and family. We all live without friends. Just do not admit it or know it. People are awful. Trust no one. I try not to interact with anyone. Been sober for over 16 years. Life is much nicer without the problems and disappointments people cause. Learn to live by yourself. I love my life. Thank god I am sober. Good luck.
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^Right, we are the awful ones who caused you to be drunk and nothing you ever did when you were drinking harmed anyone! Thank you, you are a perfect example of a narcisistic selfish dry drunk. It's probably good that you aren't around us awful people. Sure you love your life because you get to do what you have always been doing - thinking about nothing and no one but yourself. You aren't sober. You are your new drug of choice.
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2^ You had no friends because you never were a friend. You had no family because as a drunk you burned all of your bridges with your family. What the hell did you expect? A fricken medal for finally getting sober as if you were doing us all some sort of favor?! We all do NOT "live without friends". Those of us who have friends and family have them because we were reliable, loyal, considerate and respectful mutually with others. The reason you have no one is because you never did those things, not because the rest of us are "awful". Please wake the f*** up!
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Learning to live life without alcohol when it was a part of life for so long is not easy without help. An ass with alcohol, an ass without.. dry drunks are nasty. Go to an AA meeting and learn about yourself and your disease and learn to forgive yourself. It will change your attitude and when you change that, the world changes around you.
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2^ If you want to know anything about alcoholism and addiction stay the f*** away from AA meetings. That group and their message is toxic!
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Oh here we go again.. the AA Troll
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You must be really, really, thirsty.
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There must be more than one "AA troll" because I have to agree with 3^. PLenty of "dry drunks" in AA who use the idea of "disease" as yet another way to escape responsibility and be selfish. AA is a big time cult that does not really heal drunks. Keeps them disempowered, irresponsible and selfish. read this link to find out more http://orange-papers.org/ You are better off going to a therapist.
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I LIKE TEQUILA. ALOT!!!
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